Fred Mertz: Hey Rick, are you doing anything Monday night? Ricky Ricardo: I don't think so. It's my night off, why? Fred Mertz: I'd like you to join me in commemoration of an 18-year-old tragedy. Ricky Ricardo: What do you mean? Fred Mertz: Well, it's our wedding anniversary. Ricky Ricardo: Oh, you…
Catalog
Jess Oppenheimer
Jessurun James "Jess" Oppenheimer (November 11, 1913 – December 27, 1988) was an American radio and television writer, producer, and director. He was the producer and head writer of the CBS sitcom I Love Lucy.Lucille Ball called Oppenheimer “the brains” behind I Love Lucy. As series creator, producer, and head writer, “Jess was the creative force behind the ‘Lucy’ show,” according to I Love Lucy director William Asher. “He was the field general. Jess presided over all the meetings, and ran the whole show. He was very sharp.” 2Biography 3Early life and career He was born in to a secular Jewish family in San Francisco, where in the third grade he was chosen as a subject of Stanford University professor Lewis Terman's study of gifted children. His assistant noted in Oppenheimer's file, "I could detect no signs of a sense of humor."During his junior year at Stanford during the 1930s, Oppenheimer visited the studios of radio station KFRC in San Francisco, and soon started spending all his spare time there. He made his broadcast debut performing a comedy sketch he'd written on the station's popular coast-to-coast comedy-variety radio program, Blue Monday Jamboree.In 1936, Oppenheimer moved to Hollywood, where in his first week he was hired as a comedy writer on Fred Astaire's radio program. When Astaire's show ended the following year, Oppenheimer landed a job as a radio gag writer for Jack Benny. He later wrote comedy for such other variety programs as the "Chase and Sanborn Hour with Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy," "The Lifebuoy Program starring Al Jolson," "The Gulf Screen Guild Show," and "The Rudy Vallee Program." As a staff writer on those programs, Oppenheimer wrote sketch comedy for many Hollywood stars, including Fanny Brice, George Burns and Gracie Allen, Bing Crosby, Marlene Dietrich, Judy Garland, Bob Hope, and Ginger Rogers.With the start of World War II, Oppenheimer joined the United States Coast Guard and was posted to the Public Relations Departmen
Ethel Mertz: What if I cried every time I put on a pound? Fred Mertz: We'd be up to our ears in tears.
I'm going to get rid of this fat if I have to chop it off with a cleaver.
Ricky Ricardo: She seems to have some idea that I'm going to kill her. Fred Mertz: That doesn't mean anything. Sooner or later, every married woman decides that her husband wants to kill her. She's usually right.
Ricky Ricardo: Lucy's acting crazy! Fred Mertz: Crazy for Lucy or crazy for ordinary people?
Ricky Ricardo: For goodness' sakes don't tell Lucy, will you? If she knows the audition is tonight she'll be pestering the life out of me to get into the act. How am I gonna get rid of her for the day? Fred Mertz: Well, you could lock her in the bathroom. If she stays in there as long as Ethel does…
Ricky Ricardo: Listen, Professor, can you play that thin'? Lucy Ricardo: What thin? Ricky Ricardo: Never mind makin' fun of my English. Lucy Ricardo: That's English?
Lucy Ricardo: Y'know, I've been thinking about shows like Burns and Allen. George Burns uses his wife on the show. Why don't you? Ricky Ricardo: I'd love to! Do you think she would leave George?
Lucy Ricardo: Hello, I'm looking for Risky Riskardo. Ricky Ricardo: Oh, well I'm Ricky Ricardo. Lucy Ricardo: Oh nice to meet you, do you know where I can find Risky Riskardo?
This is Madam Ethel Mertzola. She'll be our medium tonight. She's psychopathic.
Lucy Ricardo: You might be going through life with the wrong name. Hey, I better figure out the right one for you! Maybe if you're something besides Five, it'll help our vibration. Ricky Ricardo: Lucy! Lucy Ricardo: What? Ricky Ricardo: Don't you like the way I vibrate?
Mr. Merriweather: My horoscope says no more business after noon today. Lucy Ricardo: Oh, you follow horoscopes? Mr. Merriweather: Yes! I'm Scorpio. Lucy Ricardo: I'm Taurus. Ricky Ricardo: I'm cooked.
Ricky Ricardo: Lucy's been acting strange lately! Fred Mertz: Strange? How can you tell?
Ricky Ricardo: Have you ever heard Lucy sing? Fred Mertz: No. Ricky Ricardo: Our fighting men have been through enough.
Some people build model airplanes. Ethel reads postcards.
Jean Valijean Raymand: Oh, but you don't understand, madame! The Apache dance is a dance of amour. One must warm up to it. Lucy Ricardo: Yeah, well I think you started warming up on the way over here! Jean Valijean Raymand: I can't help it. I can't help that there's a pounding in my heart. Lucy…
Lucy Ricardo: There's just two things keeping me from dancing in that show. Fred Mertz: Your feet?