“Fred Mertz: Hey Rick, are you doing anything Monday night? Ricky Ricardo: I don't think so. It's my night off, why? Fred Mertz: I'd like you to join me in commemoration of an 18-year-old tragedy. Ricky Ricardo: What do you mean? Fred Mertz: Well, it's our wedding anniversary. Ricky Ricardo: Oh, you…”Tagged: Tragedy, Misery, wedding anniversary
“Ricky Ricardo: For goodness' sakes don't tell Lucy, will you? If she knows the audition is tonight she'll be pestering the life out of me to get into the act. How am I gonna get rid of her for the day? Fred Mertz: Well, you could lock her in the bathroom. If she stays in there as long as Ethel does…”Tagged: Bathroom Time, Pestering
“Ricky Ricardo: Aw, honey, I don't care anything about that new dancer. Lucy Ricardo: Hah! Ricky Ricardo: Aw, honey, you can trust me. Lucy Ricardo: I can, huh? Ricky Ricardo: Why sure. I'm as faithful as an old dog. Lucy Ricardo: Yeah, old Rover!”Tagged: Cheating, Trust
“Ricky Ricardo: Lucy's been acting strange lately! Fred Mertz: Strange? How can you tell?”Tagged: strange, normal, insults
“Ricky Ricardo: Have you ever heard Lucy sing? Fred Mertz: No. Ricky Ricardo: Our fighting men have been through enough.”Tagged: bad singer
“[Ricky and Lucy are doing a show together] Ricky Ricardo: Hey, Lucy, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the theater. Lucy Ricardo: What? Ricky Ricardo: Some tramp comes up to me on the street and says he hadn't had a bite in three days. Lucy Ricardo: What did you do, bite him? [Audience…”Tagged: Standup Comedy
“[Ricky and Lucy are doing a show together] Ricky Ricardo: I've got a joke you never heard in your life. I know a girl who's so dumb she thinks a football coach has four wheels. Ha ha ha. [Audience is silent] Lucy Ricardo: How many wheels does it have? [Audience laughs]”Tagged: dumb, Misunderstanding, Standup Comedy
“Ricky Ricardo: [Ethel enters in a flowing black outfit bedecked with veils and gaudy jewelry] Who are you supposed to be? Lucy Ricardo: Well, what do you think? Ricky Ricardo: The Bride of Frankenstein? Ethel Mertz: Well! Lucy Ricardo: She's a Spanish senora. Ricky Ricardo: She suffers in the…”Tagged: Bride of Frankenstein, Senora, lost in translation
“Ricky Ricardo: Now look, Lucy, we're not going to go over all this again. You cannot be in the show. Lucy Ricardo: Give me one good reason. Ricky Ricardo: You have no talent. Lucy Ricardo: Give me another good reason.”Tagged: talent show, no talent
“Lucy Ricardo: Now really, Ricky, it's up to us to get Fred and Ethel back together again. Say you'll help me? Ricky Ricardo: Well, it would be nice. And I guess after you've gone through all this trouble and this far, the cast is dead. Lucy Ricardo: The cast is dead? Ricky Ricardo: Yeah, you know...…”Tagged: ESL, Die Is Cast
“Lucy Ricardo: How'd you know all that stuff? Ricky Ricardo: Who do you think you married, some country pumpkin?”Tagged: country bumpkin, Misheard
“[confessing to Lucy he didn't know the answers] All I know is Columbus discover' Ohio in 1776.”Tagged: Columbus, Ohio, 1776, Bad History
“Ricky Ricardo: [Ricky tries a solution for Lucy's habitual tardiness] I'm making out a schedule so you can budget your time. Lucy Ricardo: Budget my time? You mean like I budget my money? Ricky Ricardo: Heaven forbid. Lucy Ricardo: Now Ricky, listen...”Tagged: budgeting, budgeting time, budgeting money
“Ricky Ricardo: Well, how does it feel to be married to an also been? Ethel Mertz: An 'also been'? Lucy Ricardo: He means a has ran.”Tagged: also ran, has been