“Why does he keep doing this? He meets them. He likes them way too much. He goes way too big too soon. He ends up blowing it. I can't take this any more. He's fallen in love so many times now.”— Marshall, amazon.com
“Yeah, I'm scared, ok? But when I think about spending the rest of my life with Lily. Committing forever with no other women, it doesn't scare me at all. I'm marrying that girl.”— Marshall, amazon.com
“This is a pie chart describing my favorite bars. And this is a bar graph describing my favorite pies.”— Marshall, amazon.com
“You're gonna love the park buddy. It's a great place to meet chicks. Or dudes. Or both. Oh we love you no matter what!”— Marshall, amazon.com
“Here's the thing, Barney. I'm snuggly. You're not. Who wouldn't want to snuggle up next to this business on a Sunday morning? Wrapped in comfort and it's raining outside and there's muffins warming in the oven. I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.”— Marshall, amazon.com
“She's never seen Star Wars?! Ted, the only people in the universe who haven't seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars. And that's cause they lived them, Ted! That's cause they lived the Star Wars.”— Marshall, amazon.com
“I’ve never asked Lily to do anything ‘no questions asked’ because I never wanted to. She’s the love of my life. I never keep anything from her.”— Marshall, amazon.com
“Spongebob: Now that we're men, we have facial hair. Patrick: Now that we're men I changed my underwear.”— Spongebob Squarepants, Patrick Star, amazon.com
“Patrick: What does claustrophobic mean? Spongebob: It means he's a afraid of Santa Clause”— Patrick Star, Spongebob Squarepants, amazon.com
“I’ll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes.”— Spongebob Squarepants, amazon.com
“Spongebob: Patrick, you're a genius!" "Patrick: Yeah, I get called that a lot." "Spongebob: What? A genius?" "Patrick: No, Patrick.”— Spongebob Squarepants, Patrick Star, amazon.com
“Spongebob: Hey Patrick Patrick: What? Spongebob: I thought of something funnier than 24. Patrick: Let me hear it. Spongebob: 25.”— Spongebob, Patrick Star, amazon.com