“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.”— Joan Rivers, telegraph.co.ukTagged: Funny Quotes, Exercise, Running, Hate Working Out, Lazy
“I guess ultimately I just want to be someone's cell phone background.”— Whitney Cummings, twitter.comTagged: Women in Comedy, Love
“When did avocado toast become the new crack cocaine?”— Whitney Cummings, twitter.comTagged: Women in Comedy, food
“I just need to ride out this minor humiliation until I find my Kanye.”— Mindy Kaling, amazon.comTagged: Love, Breakups, Heartbreak, strength, Relationships
“Ladies: Don't come off desperate and reply quickly to your crushes texts. Wait a while. Meet someone else. Get Married. Start a family. Keep him guessing.”— Violet K. Benson, instagram.comTagged: Violet Benson, Daddy Issues, Funny, Jokes, Funny Quotes
“My arms register as legs. And my legs register as firewood.”— Amy Schumer, youtube.comTagged: Women in Comedy, Body Image, Hollywood is Stupid
“I hate Arizona. It always eight hundred degrees outside and everybody’s always saying, ‘But it’s a dry heat!’ So’s the inside of my microwave.”— Joan Rivers, amazon.comTagged: Women in Comedy, Heat, Arizona