“How long it takes to find a bra? What's going on in there? You ask me to get a pair of underwear, I'm back in two seconds...you know about the cup sizes and all? They have different cups.”Tagged: Bras, Underwear
“Hey George, what do you like better? The ‘bro’ or the ‘mansiere’?”Tagged: Male Bras, Bras, Bro, Mansiere, Man Boobs
“No one is touching my feet. Between you and me, Elaine, I think I've got a foot odor problem.”Tagged: Feet, Podiatry, Pedicures, Foot Odor
“Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So who's having sex with the hen?”Tagged: Reproduction, Sex, Roosters, Hens, Chickens
“Your meatloaf is mushy, your salmon croquettes are oily, and your eggplant parmesan is a disgrace to this house!”Tagged: Meatloaf, Salmon Croquettes, Eggplant Parmesan, Cooking
“Inchon, Korea, 1950. I was the best cook Uncle Sam ever saw, slinging hash for the Fighting 103rd. As we marched north, our supply lines were getting thin. One day a couple of GIs found a crate, inside were six hundred pounds of prime Texas steer. At least it once was prime. The use date was three…”Tagged: Inchon, north korea, Uncle Sam, Korean War, Texas Beef
“Doctor gave me a relaxation cassette. When my blood pressure gets too high, the man on the tape tells me to say, 'Serenity now!'”Tagged: Motivational Tapes, Psychology, Blood Pressure
“George, we've had it with you. Understand? We love you like a son, but even parents have limits.”Tagged: Parents, Disowning
“Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon, I realized there had to be another way. Kramer: What happened to the doll? Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was…”Tagged: Christmas, Christmas Shopping, Festivus
“Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had—but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!”Tagged: Christmas, Festivus, Materialism, Violence