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Jerry Seinfeld

496 quotesTelevision Actor · Born Apr 29, 1954 · United States Of America · Male

Jerome Allen "Jerry" Seinfeld (born April 29, 1954) is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, and director. He is known for playing a semifictional version of himself in the sitcom Seinfeld, which he created and wrote with Larry David. Seinfeld was heavily involved in the Bee Movie, in which he voiced its protagonist. In 2010, he premiered a reality series called The Marriage Ref. He directed Colin Quinn in the Broadway show Long Story Short at the Helen Hayes Theater, which ran until January 2011. He is the creator and host of the web series Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. In his stand-up comedy career, Seinfeld is known for specializing in observational comedy, often ranting about relationships and embarrassing social situations. In 2005, Comedy Central named Seinfeld their "12th Greatest Stand-up Comedian of All Time". 2Early life Seinfeld was born in Brooklyn, New York. His father Kalmen Seinfeld collected jokes he heard while serving in World War II. His mother, Betty (née Hosni; born 1914), is of Syrian-Jewish descent; her parents Selim and Salha Hosni were from Alepp

All Dating (29)Sex (23)Breakups (19)Men (15)Women (14)Nudity (14)comedy (12)Masculinity (12)Attraction (11)Relationships (11)body odor (8)Jokes (8)Death (8)Homophobia (7)Marriage (7)

From “The Ex-Girlfriend”

Women need to like the job of the guy they're with. If they don't like the job, they don't like the guy. Men know this. Which is why we make up the phony bogus names for the jobs that we have. ‘Well, right now, I'm the regional management supervisor.’ ‘I’m in development, research, consulting.’ Men,…

Attraction Men Women status

Women need to like the job of the guy they're with. If they don't like the job, they don't like the guy. Men know this. Which is why we make up the phony bogus names for the jobs that we have. ‘Well, right now, I'm the regional management supervisor.’ ‘I’m in development, research, consulting.’ Men,…

Attraction Men Women status

Women need to like the job of the guy they're with. If they don't like the job, they don't like the guy. Men know this. Which is why we make up the phony bogus names for the jobs that we have. ‘Well, right now, I'm the regional management supervisor.’ ‘I’m in development, research, consulting.’ Men,…

Attraction Men Women status

From “The Heart Attack”

Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body; we just want the body.

Women Men Attraction doctors models

Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body; we just want the body.

Women Men Attraction doctors models

From “The Stranded”

I can always tell when a woman likes me, they always somehow let you know. With me, they could torture me, I wouldn't tell them. If anything I'd try to make them think I don't like them, then they think, ‘Oh, look at this guy, he's not even looking at me, he must have something going for him.’

Aloofness Attraction Game Theory

From “The Shoes”

Because I snubbed her. You see? Women, they like that! Yes! I understand women. The snub is good, they love the snub.

Snubbing Aloofness Attraction Women

From “The Implant”

A leg man? Why would I be a leg man? I don't need legs. I have legs.

Leg Men breasts Attraction

A leg man? Why would I be a leg man? I don't need legs. I have legs.

Leg Men breasts Attraction

From “The Secret Code”

You see what's going on here? You're attracted to him because he can't remember anything about you.

Aloofness Attraction

You see what's going on here? You're attracted to him because he can't remember anything about you.

Aloofness Attraction

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