“All this time, you've been thinking, 'What if that loser Jerry hadn't talked me out of the abortion?' Well, now you know, you'd be a doctor. Whoop-dee-doo. You'd also be drinking wine, alone in a house full of exotic birds. And I'd be on DiCaprio's yacht, banging Kristen Stewart!”Tagged: Loser, Marriage, Abortion, Wine, Exotic Birds
“Beth: When two people create a life together, they set aside their previous lives as individuals. Jerry: Gimme a break! We're not heroes for having unprotected sex on prom night.”Tagged: Marriage, Sex, Unprotected Sex, Prom Night