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Jerry Smith (voice)

9 quotes

All penis (3)Dick Jokes (2)Marriage (2)Sex (2)Leonardo DiCaprio (1)East Coast Lighthouse (1)defensive (1)Species (1)Good Kid (1)Life (1)Unprotected Sex (1)galaxy (1)Abortion (1)worries (1)Parents (1)

From “Anatomy Park”

Jerry: It sounds like you're about to say Jacob is your lover. Leonard Smith: No, no, no. Jacob is your mother's lover. I watch them. Sometimes from a chair, sometimes from a closet. Almost always dressed as Superman.

Lovers Parents Watching Sex Chair

From “M. Night Shaym-Aliens!”

Well, all is forgiven, because right now, I’ve got an erection the size of an East Coast lighthouse, and I’m coming home to share it with my beautiful wife.

erection East Coast Lighthouse Dick Jokes

From “Rick Potion #9”

Meh, try not to worry about it, Morty. You're a good kid. And there's not a premium on that right now, but you'll be getting girls sometime after Brad's out of shape.

Good Kid Girls romance Getting Girls worries

From “Rixty Minutes”

All this time, you've been thinking, 'What if that loser Jerry hadn't talked me out of the abortion?' Well, now you know, you'd be a doctor. Whoop-dee-doo. You'd also be drinking wine, alone in a house full of exotic birds. And I'd be on DiCaprio's yacht, banging Kristen Stewart!

Loser Marriage Abortion Wine Exotic Birds

Beth: When two people create a life together, they set aside their previous lives as individuals. Jerry: Gimme a break! We're not heroes for having unprotected sex on prom night.

Marriage Sex Unprotected Sex Prom Night

From “Interdimensional Cable 2”

Yes, I will! That's right, assholes! Take my penis. Take it all!! And tell Shrimply Pibbles that when the galaxy came calling, Jerry Smith from Earth didn't flinch!

penis galaxy Flinch Donor

Shrimply Pibbles: I've dwelt among the humans. Their entire culture is built around their penises. It's funny to say they are small. It's funny to say they are big. I've been at parties where humans held bottles, pencils, thermoses in front of themselves and called out, 'Hey, look at me. I'm Mr.…

Dick Jokes Genocide Species defensive penis

Ambassador: Mr. Smith, Shrimply Pibbles' life can be saved... if we replace his heart with your human penis. Jerry: I see... Wait, what?!

penis Organs Heart Transplant Life Saved

From “The Old Man and the Seat”

You can't stay mad a guy with this amount of talent.

Mad Talent

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