Abby: You're in love with me. Why? Mike: Beats the shit out of me.
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Karen McCullah
Karen McCullah (formerly Karen McCullah Lutz) is an American screenwriter and novelist. McCullah was born in the Philippines, where her father had been assigned with the United States Navy performing counterespionage duties. She grew up in Bergen County, New Jersey, and graduated from Indian Hills High School in her hometown of Oakland, New Jersey. As a high school student, she maintained in her diary 10 Things I Hate About Anthony, her boyfriend at the time, which ultimately led to the title of her 1999 film, 10 Things I Hate About You. She is a graduate of James Madison University in Virginia where she was a member of Alpha Gamma Delta sorority. She wrote most of the published screenplays with her screenwriting partner Kirsten Smith. In 2005 she also wrote her first novel The Bachelorette Party. 2Credits 3Novels The Bachelorette Party (2006) - ISBN 978-0-312-32621-0 3Films 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) - an adaptation of William Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew set in a modern American high school Legally Blonde (2001) - screen adaptation of Amanda Brown's novel Legally Blonde Ella Enchanted (2004) - screen adaptation of Gail Carson Levine's 1997 novel Ella Enchanted She's the Man (2006) - an adaptation of William Shakespeare's play Twelfth Night, or What You Will. The House Bunny (2008) The Ugly Truth (2009) Crazy Kind of Love" (2013) 3Screenplays (unproduced) a screenplay of her novel The Bachelorette Part
But you want a relationship, then here's how you get one: It's called a Stairmaster. Get on it, and get skinny...and get some trashy lingerie while you're at it...because at the end of the day, all we're interested in is looks. And no one falls in love with your personality at first sight.
Men are simple. We cannot be trained.
He'll call back in five seconds. Now, come on.
So there you have it. Never assume a girl is easy or assume she's a prude. There are many layers in between, and it's your job, gentlemen, to peel back those layers and figure out exactly what type of woman you're dealing with.
Let me tell you something about women. Women would have us believe that they are the victims; That we break their hearts for sport. That's crap. They say they want romance, they say they want true love, but all they want is a check list. Is he perfect? Is he handsome? Is he a doctor? For you men who…
You have to be two people. The saint and the sinner. The librarian and the stripper.
Listen to you. Desperately asking me if you sounded desperate?
We have to do something with your hair. A pony tail implies you are either operating heavy machinery or emptying the liter box. Neither of those things inspires an erection.
Rule number four never talk about your problems. Men don't really listen or care. Some men pretend to care.
Jeans are all about the curves of the ass.
Length is very important. We need short enough to see some thigh but not so short.
Rule number three men are very visual. We have to change your look. You are a very attractive woman but you are completely inaccessible. You are all about comfort and efficiency.
Rule number two, laugh at whatever he says. A fake laugh is like a fake orgasm.
Rule number one never criticize. Men are incapable of growth, change or progress. For men self-improvement ends at toilet training.