I believe my eating disorder is going to be with me for the rest of my life. But I've seen people get over the disorder and that's what I hope for myself. I use it as an inspiration every day.
Catalog
Lauren Greenfield
Lauren Greenfield is an American artist, documentary photographer, and documentary filmmaker. She has published three photographic monographs, directed four documentary films, exhibited in museums, and published in magazines and other publications. She is married to Frank Evers, with whom she has two sons, and they reside in Venice, California. 2Photography Greenfield graduated from Harvard University in 1987 with a B.A., majoring in Visual and Environmental Studies. Her Senior Thesis photography project on the French Aristocracy was called "Survivors of the French Revolution". This work helped kick start her career as an intern for National Geographic Magazine. A subsequent grant from National Geographic provided financial support towards her debut monograph, "Fast Forward: Growing Up in the Shadow of Hollywood" (Knopf 1997). Five years after the release of "Fast Forward", Greenfield produced a second major body of work about the self-esteem crisis amongst American women, entitled "Girl Culture". Greenfield's photographs have been regularly published in international publications, such as The New Yorker, New York, New York Times Magazine, The Sunday Times Magazine, Stern, The Guardian, Der Spiegel, La Repubblica, Time, Vanity Fair, People, National Geographic, ELLE, Harper's, Cosmopolitan, and Marie Claire. 2Museums and exhibitions Her photography, including entire bodies of work like "Fast Forward", "Girl Culture", and "THIN", is in many major collections such as the Art Institute of Chicago, Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA), the J. Paul Getty Museum, the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art (SFMOMA), the Smithsonian National Museum of American History, the International Center of Photography, the Center for Creative Photography, the Museum of Fine Arts (Houston), the Harvard University Archive, the Smith College Museum of Art, the Clinton Library, and the French Ministry of Cultur
The day you find something that you want even more than to be thin is the day you're capable of recovery.
A personal trainer asked me if I wanted to do a fitness competition and I said yes...One day I binged and said, 'I don't know what to do,' so he told me to throw up. I've been bulimic ever since.
If they want me to lose weight, I'll just say, 'No No I'm not going back. F.U.'
I'm scared and lonely. Part of me wants to give up my eating disorder. And then a big part, the strong part doesn't...It's got the best of me. I'm a losing battle. I'm like a slave.
I want my self esteem back. I deserve a good life. I'm going to be somebody my daughters are proud of.
Even if you take away eating disorders, being a girl is always going to be one of the hardest things.
The crazy things about eating disorders is that it's so hard to understand unless you have one yourself....People say 'just eat.' I can't.
This is what I really want. It's the one thing I want so bad. I just want to be thin. If it takes dying to get there, so be it. At least I'll get there.
If I died there would be nothing good to say about me. The only thing I did was change my body.
Today I had lunch with my family.
The biggest deception is that they think, if I just lose this weight people would be my friend.
I told my mom, 'I'm not perfect yet,' she told me the perfect anorexic is dead.
I started modeling so I had to be thin...So I went to the bathroom to throw up just because I wanted to be smaller...Then the owner of the agency took me into her office and said I needed to lose 5lbs in my face.
Between March and December I went from 220 to 120 pounds. After growing up in a household where I was constantly told I need to be a certain weight. When I started to actually see results, I went overboard.
I always thought I was fat. It wasn't until recently when I pulled out an old photo album that I was like, Oh my gosh. I really wasn't fat. I've had a distorted view of myself pretty much most of my life.
I just feel like since I was 10 my eating disorder kept me from life. I would love to be a wedding planner one day.
I don't feel the my life is in danger. It's a fight for my sanity more than anything. The eating disorder is making me sick, and I'm ready to give it up, but I have nothing else in my life right now.
I want to be happier and the only way to be happier is to be skinny.
I want to be so skinny that no one can ever say anything to me again about my weight.