“Randy Taylor: [to Sir Larry] Hey, you're great! I saw you at Chris Johnson's birthday party! Sir Larry Houdini: Ahhh, lovely little girl. Randy Taylor: Chris is a boy. Sir Larry Houdini: Strange little boy.”Tagged: gender confusion
“Tim Taylor: I don't know what it is about football and me; I'm obsessed, I think. Wilson: Well, why do you think that is, Tim? Tim Taylor: I think it's 'cause I love it, Wilson. I love the surprise, and the strategy, and the strength, and the big guys with the logos and the colorful helmets, the…”Tagged: Football, Obsession
“Jill Taylor: [the family's out camping and Tim just got back from the car] Oh thank God, I was getting worried. I heard this awful howling. Tim Taylor: Oh, that was me. Couldn't find any leaves, had to use a pine cone.”Tagged: public defecation, no toilet paper
“You don't have to understand a woman. All you have to do is love her.”Tagged: Love, The Way Love Works, How To Love A Woman, Understanding Woman
“Al: Anyone can do what you do. Tim: Oh, really? You think you could do what I do? Al: Oh, please. How hard could it be to tell bad jokes and screw up all the time? Tim: A lot harder than it looks.”Tagged: Self-deprecation
“Tim: How many times have you been married? Fred: Three. Tim: Why do you suppose that is? Fred: I can't find a woman who understands me.”Tagged: Marriage, Misunderstood, Self-awareness
“Roxie: Look, you seem very nice. Sabrina: Thanks. Roxie: I have no room in my life for people like that.”Tagged: enemies, joke, Rude, Sassy
“James: Now can anyone tell me what's wrong with what Sean did? Amanda: He got caught.”Tagged: Rebellious, Mischief, Caught, trouble, School
“Haley: So, what do you do for fun? Amanda: You're looking at the witch who put the hole in the ozone layer. Sean: Wow, I didn't know girls could do stuff like that. Amanda: Well, you don't know this girl.”Tagged: feminism, Women, Ozone Layer, Magic, witch
“James: All right, let's see, you've been expelled from twelve different schools, you forced fourteen teachers into early retirement, one into a straitjacket. On the other hand, you were the top seller in the Other Realm High magazine drive. Sabrina: That's what I love about Amanda, she's a real…”Tagged: Go-Getter, Ambition, criminal, Thief, Bad Apple