Quote
Catalog

Quotes tagged ‘Self-deprecation’

(24 total)

Josh: So I'm working on this new move — wet hair flip, lick, body roll... I look fat when I do that. Jamie: It's not your best.

— Himself, Josh Horner, imdb.com

Bill McCoy: Tucker's very excited to meet you. Nucky Thompson: Most people are until they do.

— Terence Winter, Nucky Thompson, Steve Buscemi, imdb.com

I sound like someone put tap shoes on a horse and then shot it.

— Brad Falchuk, Artie Abrams, Kevin McHale, imdb.com

Al: Anyone can do what you do. Tim: Oh, really? You think you could do what I do? Al: Oh, please. How hard could it be to tell bad jokes and screw up all the time? Tim: A lot harder than it looks.

— Marley Sims, Tim Taylor, Tim Allen, imdb.com

My name is Stimpy, and I am homeless, and have no fish with which to live in.

— John Kricfalusi, Stimpson J. "Stimpy" Cat (voice), Billy West, imdb.com

The joke loses everything when the joker laughs himself.

— Friedrich Schiller, amazon.com

There is no bigger loser than me!

— Alec Berg, Jeff Schaffer, Dan O'Keeffe, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Annihilation is always the answer. We destroy parts of ourselves every day. We Photoshop our warts away, we edit the parts we hate about ourselves, modify the parts we think people hate. We curate our identity, carve it, distill it. Krista's wrong—annihilation is all we are.

— Sam Esmail, Elliot Alderson, Rami Malek, imdb.com

I have now come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason; I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.

— Abraham Lincoln, en.wikiquote.org

Take my advice—it's not like I'm dumb enough to.

— Unknown, tcat.tc

I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what's telling me that.

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

I am sending you a photograph of myself at the age of seven. You will probably say to yourself, ‘Why the cigar?’ That’s a very good question. Actually, the cigar is a phony. So is this mustache and, to wrap it all up neatly, so am I.

— Groucho Marx, amazon.com

All right. I guess I just have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and throw myself right back down again!

— Jennifer Crittenden, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Look, let me just state for the record: I think you're both better than me.

— Steve Koren, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

A lesbian sighting. Oh-ho! My lucky day. They're so fascinating. Why is that? Because they don't want us. You gotta respect that.

— Larry David, Peter Mehlman, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special.

— Peter Mehlman, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

You know, people think I'm smart, but I'm not smart.

— Tom Leopold, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

I say stupid things all the time. I can't go two minutes without saying stupid things.

— Elaine Pope, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Nobody can write better jokes putting me down than me. I know how to destroy myself. I’m good at it.

— Garry Shandling, nytimes.com

Do you love me? No, I’m an awkward jerk that’s been around your neck for so long you got used to it & kinda fond.

— Allen Ginsberg, amazon.com

WWWWWWWWWWWMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWM& K &&&&MM&MM&&MMMMM&&K WWWWWWWWWWMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWM& KMK &K K KKKK&M&&&&KM&MMWWWWWWMWMK WWWWWWWWWWMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM& KKK&K&& KKKKK&&&&K&&&&&MWWWWWWWWMWWWMM&&K K&KK&&K WWWWWWWWWMM&&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM& &&KKKKKKKKKK K&&&&&&&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&&KK&K && WWMMMWWWMM&&&&&&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW K&KKKKK&KK K&&M&MWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMMWWWMM&& WWMMMMMMM&&&KKKK&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW &&&&&K&& &K K&&&&&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMMWMM&&MK WWWMMMM&&&KKKK KK&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KK&&KKK K&&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMW&MMM&&KK WWWMM&&&KKKKKK KK&MMWWWWWWWWWWWW KKKK&&&KK&K KK&&MWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&MM&KK WWWMM&&KK KK&&MWWWWWWWWW KKK&&&&KKKKKK KMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWMM&KK WWWM&&KK KKK&&MMWWWWW KK&&&&&&M&&&& K&K MWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWWWWW&&W&&&KK WWWM&K KKKKKKK KK&&MMWM KK&&KK&K&KKK&&&&K K WMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWMWWM&K& KK WWWM& K&&&K&KK KKKK&&M KK&KKK&M&&K&&&&K& K&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWMMMK&KK WWM&K K&&&&&&&&&&KKKKKKKK& KK&&KKKK&&K&&&&&&K&MKWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&MMK& WM&K &&MMMMM&&&&&&&&K&&K K&&&&&&&&&MM&MM&&& MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWMM&&&M&& WM& K&MMWWWWWWMM&&MM&M&& &&&K&&K&K&&MMKK&&&&&WMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWWMM&&K W&K KK&MMWWWWWWWWWWWMMM&& &&&&&KK&K&MWMM&&&&&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&K &K K&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWK &M&&&&&&M&&&MM&&&&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMK & K&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KM&&&MMWWMMMMWMMM&&W&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&&KK K M K&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KK&&&&&MMMM&M&MMM&&MWWWWWWMMWWWWWW&MWWWWWWWWWW&WKK WM &&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWW KK&KKM& KK& &&& &KK&MMWWWWK MMMK&K&&&K&MK&K KKK K&KKKK WWM K&MMMWWWWWWWWWWWW KK &KK KK K WWM K&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWW K KMM KK&MWWWWWWWWWWWWW& K WWWW K&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& &&K MWWWW KK&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW K&MMWWM&K KK &&WWMMK &MM K&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM KKKKK MWW& K&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWK KMWWWK KK&MMWWWWWWWWWW& &WWM K KK&MMWWWWWWWW&K MWMK K KKMMWWWWWWWMK KM& KK& && K &&WM& KKKMKKK K&MMWWWWWWWK KKK K&K KK & KWW&&&K KKK K K&&MMWWWWWM KKKKK&&K K&MWKKK K&WMWMK & K&&MMWWWWW W KK&&&&M&M&&&& KKKM&MMMMM&&&K K K&MMMMM& KK K K&&MMMMW MM K&&M&MMMMM&M&MM&MWWWWWWWMKKK && MMWWM& KM&K&MM&&KKKK&KK KKKK W& KK&&MMMMWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWW&KK KMM&MWWW&& K &WWWWWWWWWW&K & K&&&&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKK &&&MM&WWWMK &&&MMWWWMWWWM&M&K

. . . ::. .... . , , .,, . .,,:: ::,,, , ... , : :: ., ..,:: ::, . .,,.. . . . .: : , .,. .. . .... : . , ,., ,,. :.:, . ... , :, , : :: ::, :,,,:. . , ,:,:,,., ::,,. ,. . , . . , : . . , . .: .. .. , : : : , .. , :,. :,,. ,: :: : :., : :, : : ,, .:: :.:,,: , .. , ,. , . , . .. : ,, . ,.,. , : , .:,. :, . , , .: ::. :, . ::, :,,,,, ,,:,:. : ::,. . : .. , :: , .,: ,,,. . . ,, .. :,, : . . .:, :,,.. ::,,....,:: , , .. ::, . ::,..,.,.:: :::,, :,. ..,. :,,,, ::. . :,,,,,,,,, ,,: : . :,. .,:. , ,..: :, : :,,: ::,: :, ::,, , :,.. ...,. :, .., , :: . ,: :,::,: :.. . ,. : :. .,:,.. : : . ,.,. , ., , ,: :,::: :: :,: .. .,. :. ., : : ., : : ,,: , : ::,,, ,, ..... .., ::: :,,.,,:::, , : . , , ,,..: ::,. ..,,, .::: :..,:::::,,. :: : : : . : :: :: ,..,::, ,.,: :,.,: ::,,. : ::::: : : .,.,: : ::: :::. ,,,,,,,:. .,,: ::,:::::,,. , :::::: : ,: :: :,. :,.,:. ,::: :::::::,,. : ::::: :: ::: ::,, ,:: :..,,. ,:: :::::,,,,,. : ::::: :,: ::: :::, ,,::. .,,, ,: :::::,,,.,.. ::: : :, ,:: :,:,,: ,,:. .,.. ,:: :::,:,,,.,. .

}<<< < } }**<<<<****}*}*<~<}**<*<* ~*} }}}}}*}}}}}}}}}}} }< ~ }}}*<<~~~~ < }}} }}}}*}}}}}}}} ~ } *}}}**<<****<<~~< ~} } }}}}} }}}}}}}}}}} < ~~ } }}}}}*<*}} *}}**~~ *~ * }}}}} }} }}}}***}*}}} ~ ~< } }*** }*} }<**<} ~ } <} } }}}}}}}}}} ~ ~~<~ ~ } } }}} }} *}**}<<< ~ <} }}}}}}} } }}}}}} } }}*****}<<<*<< <} }}}}}} <} * } } }}} }***<<~<<*< ~ <} }}}}}}} ~< }} } ****}*<*~~~~**~}~ ~* }}}}}}} ~} }}*}}}<<~~ ~*<~ < *} }}} } < }*****<*<~~~~<}< } } }}}}}} }} }}*****<~~ ~*~} ~ } } } }} <<}< ***}}*<~~ ~ ~ ** } <<< }}}}*****~~~~ < ~<<} }}}*****<~ ~ }}} ~ ~~< }**}***<<~ } * *}}**}}**~~ * }}}*}}*}*<< } }}} }}**}}***<~ }}} <<}} *}*} }***}**<<~ ~~~*} ~ ~ *<~ **<<~<~ *} }~ ~~~ <**<<<<~~~ }}}}}}}}}} ~~~~<}} * } < ~ } }*~ ~~~<<~ } }*<<<~~~~~~<<<*} }~~~~*} ~ ~~ }< ~~~ }}}**<<~~~ ~ *~~~~* * }**<*} }*< ~<~} }}}~ ~} *<<~ ~ * }***<<*<<<<<~~~~ <~~~<} ~ *}* * ~<} }<<< } }*<~ ~ ~ <*<<<<<<<<<<<~<~~~~ *~~~~*} < } } }~ <* * }}*~ ~ ~ ~ ~~~<<<<<<<<<<<<~~ ~~* <~~~~<}} } < ~* ~ <<*~ <<< ~~~ ~~<<<<<<<<<<<<~ }}} }<~~~~~**} ~ } < <<~* << **< ~ ~ ~~~~~<<<<<<<<*<~ ~~ < }*<~~~~~~~<*}} } } ~ <****<*< *<**}<<<~ } ~ < ~ * *< } ~<<<~<~~~~~~ ~ ~~<<<<<***< < }*<~~~~~ ~~~~**} } ~~ } }< ~<*<<**<<~~ ~~~~<<<**<< **<~~~~ ~ ~ ~~<*} } *~ ~} } ~~< } } *< <}}} }}} }<~<~~ ~<<<~<<**<< ~ ~ }*<~~~~ ~~~~<*} *<~~~ <} ~ ~ }*<<<<<~ <} } }}<<~ ~~<<~<<<<<<~ * <~~~~ ~~~~*} ~ ~ ~~ }}}*<~~ ~~~ ~~~<<<<<<<<~~ * }<~~~ ~~~~~*}} * < ~~ ~} }<<~ ~ ~~~~~<<<<~<~~ < *~~~~ ~~~~<*} < } ~~ * } }*<~~ ~~~<<<<<<<<<~~~~ }*<~~~~ ~~~~<<}} < ~~ * }}*~ ~~~<<<<<<<<<<~~

UVo j UVUoUVU UUU UV jjjj UV oV U V U UVUVoVVVVojoVoojjooooV jjjjjj j UV VU U U Voojjj jjj jj j joVU UU U UUUVj oj jjj j j j ojjUVU UUU UUoVoVo jjj jj oj jj oooojjjjjjj oUUU U UU UUVVoj j j jooo j jjjoooojjjjjjjjjjj UU oVVVU UUVUVUU UUVVoo jjj j jjooVVooooojjjjjjjjj UUU jjoVUV UUU UVUVojj jjjjj oo j j jooVVVVoooojojjjjjjj UUUUUUUUUU j jjVUUUU VU UUVVVj jojj oooooj jjoooVVoVVooooojjjjjjj UUUVVUUUUUUUU VUUU U UU UUoooojjjjojojVVVoj ojjooVVVVVVVVoooojjjjjjj j j UUVVVVVU UUUU ooUoV V U U VVooooooooVVVVVVVVo ojjoooVVVVVVoVoooojjjjj j UVVVVVVUU UUUU joV UU UoVoVoooVVVooUVUVVo j ooooooVVVVVVVVVoooo jjj jjjjj UVooooVV jV UUUVVVoVVVVVUVUUVVooj o VooooVVVVVUVVVVVojjjjjjjjjjjjjj UVVoooVVUU joV U UUUUUVVUUVVUUUVVVo jooooVVVUUUUVVVVVooojjjjjjjjjjjj UVoooooVVU jV UVVVVVVUVUUUUVooo ojjjoVVUVUUVVVVVVoojoojjjjjjj UoooooVVU oU UVVVoVVVUUVUUVojjj VoooooVUUUUUUVVVVoooojjjjjjjj jj UVVoooooVU oU UUUVVVUVVVVUVVVojj VooooVVVUUUUUUUVVoooojjjjjjjjjjj VooooooooVVU U VVU UV UUUVVUVUVVUVVoo VoooVVVUUUUUUVVVVVooojjjjjjj jjj o joooooVVU V VUU UUUVUUUUUVVUUUUUUVVoj jVooVoVUUUUUUUVVVoooojjjjjjj j o jjooVVUU j jVVUU VU UU U U U U UUVVVooVoj o jooooVUUUUUUUUVVVVooojjjjjjjjjjj j jjoVVU oVVUUU VVj joj jjj V UVUUUUUVUU UVUU VUooVUo jjjoVVVUUUUUUVVVoojj j o joVU VUU UUUo o oVUUVVVoVUUVVVVVVoj ooVVVVUVVVVooj V joVU jVUVUUUV jjVUVVoooV Vjooooj joooVVojj U jooVU oVUVVVoo joVUUVoj jojooVUUVVooj oU Vo jjj U joVU j oVVVVUoj jjoVU oj jjoVV Uoj V UUUo jV U joVUU VVVVUVo j joVUUUU UUVVojj jVU Vo oUUVUUUUUVUUVoj jjj joVUU oVVVUoVVjjoUUVoj jV Uj jj jooVU U VVVVVUVVVVVV jVU UVo V ojj joVVU oVVVVVUVUUo V UUVoVVVU V j jjU joUo o V Voj joVUU V joVVVVUUUUVojoVUV UU UjoojoVUU UU VU U oVoVVV VoVo oo Uoj joVU Uj ooVVUU UU oooVUVU Voj joUVUU V j j jooVV UUVVV joj j Vo joVU UUV oooVVU UVojj joV U V oooojooo oVVooVj joj UVoj jooVU UU o oooVVU U U U o jVooVVVUUUUUVVVoVVUU UVojojjoj UVoj joVUUU UV oooVVUU U U V VoV UUVVVjjVjjjj UUVVoj jooVUUUUUU oo ojoVUU V V jVVU U UVVVooj jjj UUVVoj jooVUUUUUUUUUUV U oojoVUU U oj oV UUUVVVVojj

WWWWWMWWWWWM K&K&&&MMMMWWM& WWWWMMWWWWWWW& MM&&&&MMMWWWWWWWWMWW&K WMMM&&&MWWWWW& &MMM&K&MWWWWWWWWWWMM&K WWM&K&KK&WWWW K&MMMM&&&WWWWWWWWWWM&K WMK &&&&&&&W &MMM&MMKMWWWWWWWWWM&K KK K KKK W& &MWWMMMW MMMMMMM&WWWWWWWWWWWM&KKKK&K KK&KK M KMWWWWWWW WMMMWWMMWWWWWWWWWWWWMKKKKKK KKKK M &MWWWWWW &MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMMM&&&& KK&&KK W KMWWWWWW K&& &K K K KK&KK WW KMWWWWWWK &K K K & & K&WWWWWW KK K &WM &MWWWWW KKKK K KWW & K KMWWWW K&&M&K &MMMWW K & K&WWWW K&MMWMWWWWWW&MWWW &MWMMMMK KK &&KK& &MMWWWWWWWM&MMWM MWWWWW&KKK K &MMK& K&MWWWWWWWW&K &WM KMWWWWWM& &K &MMW &&MMWWWW&&&&MWWW MWWWWM& WK KWW K&&MWWM KWM MWWMKK W& &M&MW&KWWWMK MMWWM&K WWK K&M&MM & & &&WMK WW& K&K&& KW &W WM& KKKW& KW &&&K &&&&K MMM KKK KK K&KK

,.:, ::,,. ,, ::., :.. ,,, :, .. .. , . , . : : , , .: : ,,: . . : , :: . :.,: , . , ,: :,,..: . : :..,: :: . .. :.::. : ,, , :,, ,: : , , :: .: : . ,, ,:, : , :,:,,, : , .. ,..::,: : , . :,., :,,: : . ::.,: ,: :,. :::. .,: :.. :, :,: ::, .,,: :,. , :, :: ::, ..,: ,, ::: :. , : ,, ..,: ::: : ,,,..,: :: : , .,: .. . :. : .,: . . :, ,. ., ..,: :. : . : . , .,,.. ., ..,,. : ::: ,, :. , ..., ...... :::::: . , .... .. ::::::::::: , , : : ,.. .....

* < < < }~~ ~<<* }* ~ ~ *<}* ~ < }*~* < ~ <~ ~ ~ ~ }~ } < < ~* * ~**< ~ }} }* *< < * * < <~ }}**< * ~ }< ~ **~* ~< ~*}}}}* }**} < * <*<~}< ~ } <** *<<<< ~<*}} < << }****} * * ** *< ~ <** }~~< < ****} }*<* *~ * <**}}*<<~ < }}*}} ~<< <~ ~*}}}}*<~ ~ }}}}} < }< ~**}}}**~ ~ }}}} }~* * ~ <*}}}}*< * }}}} ~~} * * ~<} }< }}}*}} } < <* * }}**}} } }<~ ~ < * }< <} } }}****}}}} < ***<* }< ~ * }} *~ ~*} *~ ********}} } * ~ *~ * ~}}< ~ ~*}}* }*<*<<*<**} *} ** } } **~~ <*~ ~~ *<<<<<<<<<<<~} } ~ ~<<~ << }*<<<<<<<<<<~ < }} *}} }}*<<*} * ~~~ ~ }*<<<<~~~~~~ <** *}}} }<~ }*<<<~~~~ ~ ~ * }** * }}}*<<~~~~ ~ ~} }} <~ }}*<<~~ } ~<*< ~<* ~

U VooVVVoooj VVoooojjj jU VoojUoo VVVVoooooj U VoooVoojj oUUUVVVoooo j V VoVoUUojj VUUUUUVVoooo UU oU UUUU Ujj o o U UVVVooo UVU jV Vjjj VU VVVooo UVU V Uojj UUU UVVVVV jVUU UVjoj U UUUVVV o jV V VU U U UV Uoj jo o U jU Vo jVU UVo U Uj Voj o o jV o Uo U j j Vj oU j U j o U j j o o o U UUVoV VUUU Uo UVVVo j Uj oU UV U UVVo V jVU jVU V U Vj Uoj oU oV U V UUV o jjjoV VoU V UVoj o jjjooU oVU U j U UVoj jjj V jjjjooojVU Uo UVVj jjjj j jjjj joV U U U jU Vjo joj o jojoU U o U U j jj Uj oj VU V j j V j oVUV V U U UVj jjoo UVUo VUVjj jooUU UVUVoo j oUUUVj j jjj Voooojj oVVVoj j oojjjj oVUVVjj ojoojj jjj VoojoVj joj j