Quote
Catalog

Mike Myers

46 quotesTelevision Actor · Born May 25, 1963 · United Kingdom · Male

Michael John Myers (born May 25, 1963) is a Canadian-American actor, comedian, screenwriter, and film producer, who holds British citizenship. He is known for his run as a featured performer on Saturday Night Live from 1989 to 1995, and for playing the title roles in the Wayne's World, Austin Powers, and Shrek films. He also directed the documentary film Supermensch: The Legend of Shep Gordon, and had a small role in Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds in 2009. 2Early life Myers was born on May 25, 1963 in Scarborough, a suburban district in the east side of Toronto. He was the son of English-born parents Eric Myers (1922–1991), an insurance agent, and his wife, Alice E. (née Hind; born 1926), an office supervisor and a veteran of the Royal Air Force. Both his parents were from Liverpool, United Kingdom, and he has two older brothers, Paul, an indie rock singer-songwriter, broadcaster and author, and Peter, a recently laid-off Sears Canada employee. The family is of English, Scottish and Irish ancestry. Myers was raised Protestant. Myers reportedly holds Canadian, U.S. and British citizenship. Myers grew up in suburban Toronto districts, both North York and Scarborough, where he attended Sir John A. Macdonald Collegiate Institute and then graduated from Stephen Leacock Collegiate Institute in 198

All Movie Quotes (29)Funny Quotes (25)Best of Quotes (20)Best Moments (9)Funny Moments (4)wiener (2)Intimacy (2)small car (2)Micropenis (2)Nuts (2)penis (2)Double Entendres (2)boo-hoo (1)Gender Bending (1)Mole (1)

From “Austin Powers”

Come here I'm going to eat you. I'm bigger than you I'm higher on the food chain. Get in my belly!

Funny Quotes Movie Quotes Best of Quotes

Come here I'm going to eat you. I'm bigger than you I'm higher on the food chain. Get in my belly!

Funny Quotes Movie Quotes Best of Quotes

Of course, I'm not happy. Look at me, I'm a big fat slob. I've got bigger titties than you. I've got more chins than Chinese phone book. I've not seen my willy in two years which is long enough to declare I'm legally dead.

Funny Quotes Movie Quotes Best of Quotes

Of course, I'm not happy. Look at me, I'm a big fat slob. I've got bigger titties than you. I've got more chins than Chinese phone book. I've not seen my willy in two years which is long enough to declare I'm legally dead.

Funny Quotes Movie Quotes Best of Quotes

Listen missy, do you fancy another go? Because once you've had fat you never go back.

Funny Quotes Movie Quotes Best of Quotes

Listen missy, do you fancy another go? Because once you've had fat you never go back.

Funny Quotes Movie Quotes Best of Quotes

Dr. Evil, let me make you a deal alright? You keep the mojo, you keep the money. And I'll get your baby [while smacking lips].

Funny Quotes Movie Quotes Best of Quotes

Dr. Evil, let me make you a deal alright? You keep the mojo, you keep the money. And I'll get your baby [while smacking lips].

Funny Quotes Movie Quotes Best of Quotes

First things first, where's your shitter? I've got a turtle head poking out. I'm not kidding I got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. Christ I'm getting all emotinoal from it, ya know?

Funny Quotes Movie Quotes Best of Quotes

First things first, where's your shitter? I've got a turtle head poking out. I'm not kidding I got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. Christ I'm getting all emotinoal from it, ya know?

Funny Quotes Movie Quotes Best of Quotes

From “Austin Powers in Goldmember”

Do you find me sexy? Ohhhh, look at my tit-ays.

Funny Quotes Movie Quotes Best of Quotes

Do you find me sexy? Ohhhh, look at my tit-ays.

Funny Quotes Movie Quotes Best of Quotes

Austin Powers: Did you just soil yourself? Fat Bastard: Maybe? It did sound a little wet, didn't it? Right at the end. Let's have a smell alright. Ohh wafting, wafting. Ohh everyone likes their own brand, this is magic. Alright analysis... It smells like carrots and throws up. Ohh that could gag a…

Funny Quotes Movie Quotes Best of Quotes

Austin Powers: Did you just soil yourself? Fat Bastard: Maybe? It did sound a little wet, didn't it? Right at the end. Let's have a smell alright. Ohh wafting, wafting. Ohh everyone likes their own brand, this is magic. Alright analysis... It smells like carrots and throws up. Ohh that could gag a…

Funny Quotes Movie Quotes Best of Quotes

Here's my diaper. I think I might have pinched one off too soon. [Sniffs diaper] Oh ya, I left a rosebud in there for ya.

Funny Quotes Movie Quotes Best of Quotes

Here's my diaper. I think I might have pinched one off too soon. [Sniffs diaper] Oh ya, I left a rosebud in there for ya.

Funny Quotes Movie Quotes Best of Quotes

From “Shrek”

[While looking at a very large castle] Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?

Funny Moments Best of Quotes Movie Quotes

Shrek: Ogres are like onions... Donkey: They stink? Shrek: Yes... No. Donkey: They make you cry? Shrek: Nooo!

Funny Moments Best of Quotes Movie Quotes

Shrek: I'm going to be a father, how did this happen? Puss: Allow me to explain. You see when a man loves a woman, a powerful urge sweeps over him. Shrek: I know how it happened!!

Funny Moments Best of Quotes Movie Quotes

My donkey fell in your waffle hole.

Funny Moments Best of Quotes Movie Quotes

WWWWWWWWWWWMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWM& K &&&&MM&MM&&MMMMM&&K WWWWWWWWWWMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWM& KMK &K K KKKK&M&&&&KM&MMWWWWWWMWMK WWWWWWWWWWMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM& KKK&K&& KKKKK&&&&K&&&&&MWWWWWWWWMWWWMM&&K K&KK&&K WWWWWWWWWMM&&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM& &&KKKKKKKKKK K&&&&&&&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&&KK&K && WWMMMWWWMM&&&&&&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW K&KKKKK&KK K&&M&MWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMMWWWMM&& WWMMMMMMM&&&KKKK&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW &&&&&K&& &K K&&&&&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMMWMM&&MK WWWMMMM&&&KKKK KK&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KK&&KKK K&&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMW&MMM&&KK WWWMM&&&KKKKKK KK&MMWWWWWWWWWWWW KKKK&&&KK&K KK&&MWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&MM&KK WWWMM&&KK KK&&MWWWWWWWWW KKK&&&&KKKKKK KMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWMM&KK WWWM&&KK KKK&&MMWWWWW KK&&&&&&M&&&& K&K MWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWWWWW&&W&&&KK WWWM&K KKKKKKK KK&&MMWM KK&&KK&K&KKK&&&&K K WMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWMWWM&K& KK WWWM& K&&&K&KK KKKK&&M KK&KKK&M&&K&&&&K& K&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWMMMK&KK WWM&K K&&&&&&&&&&KKKKKKKK& KK&&KKKK&&K&&&&&&K&MKWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&MMK& WM&K &&MMMMM&&&&&&&&K&&K K&&&&&&&&&MM&MM&&& MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWMM&&&M&& WM& K&MMWWWWWWMM&&MM&M&& &&&K&&K&K&&MMKK&&&&&WMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWWMM&&K W&K KK&MMWWWWWWWWWWWMMM&& &&&&&KK&K&MWMM&&&&&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&K &K K&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWK &M&&&&&&M&&&MM&&&&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMK & K&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KM&&&MMWWMMMMWMMM&&W&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&&KK K M K&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KK&&&&&MMMM&M&MMM&&MWWWWWWMMWWWWWW&MWWWWWWWWWW&WKK WM &&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWW KK&KKM& KK& &&& &KK&MMWWWWK MMMK&K&&&K&MK&K KKK K&KKKK WWM K&MMMWWWWWWWWWWWW KK &KK KK K WWM K&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWW K KMM KK&MWWWWWWWWWWWWW& K WWWW K&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& &&K MWWWW KK&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW K&MMWWM&K KK &&WWMMK &MM K&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM KKKKK MWW& K&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWK KMWWWK KK&MMWWWWWWWWWW& &WWM K KK&MMWWWWWWWW&K MWMK K KKMMWWWWWWWMK KM& KK& && K &&WM& KKKMKKK K&MMWWWWWWWK KKK K&K KK & KWW&&&K KKK K K&&MMWWWWWM KKKKK&&K K&MWKKK K&WMWMK & K&&MMWWWWW W KK&&&&M&M&&&& KKKM&MMMMM&&&K K K&MMMMM& KK K K&&MMMMW MM K&&M&MMMMM&M&MM&MWWWWWWWMKKK && MMWWM& KM&K&MM&&KKKK&KK KKKK W& KK&&MMMMWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWW&KK KMM&MWWW&& K &WWWWWWWWWW&K & K&&&&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKK &&&MM&WWWMK &&&MMWWWMWWWM&M&K

. . . ::. .... . , , .,, . .,,:: ::,,, , ... , : :: ., ..,:: ::, . .,,.. . . . .: : , .,. .. . .... : . , ,., ,,. :.:, . ... , :, , : :: ::, :,,,:. . , ,:,:,,., ::,,. ,. . , . . , : . . , . .: .. .. , : : : , .. , :,. :,,. ,: :: : :., : :, : : ,, .:: :.:,,: , .. , ,. , . , . .. : ,, . ,.,. , : , .:,. :, . , , .: ::. :, . ::, :,,,,, ,,:,:. : ::,. . : .. , :: , .,: ,,,. . . ,, .. :,, : . . .:, :,,.. ::,,....,:: , , .. ::, . ::,..,.,.:: :::,, :,. ..,. :,,,, ::. . :,,,,,,,,, ,,: : . :,. .,:. , ,..: :, : :,,: ::,: :, ::,, , :,.. ...,. :, .., , :: . ,: :,::,: :.. . ,. : :. .,:,.. : : . ,.,. , ., , ,: :,::: :: :,: .. .,. :. ., : : ., : : ,,: , : ::,,, ,, ..... .., ::: :,,.,,:::, , : . , , ,,..: ::,. ..,,, .::: :..,:::::,,. :: : : : . : :: :: ,..,::, ,.,: :,.,: ::,,. : ::::: : : .,.,: : ::: :::. ,,,,,,,:. .,,: ::,:::::,,. , :::::: : ,: :: :,. :,.,:. ,::: :::::::,,. : ::::: :: ::: ::,, ,:: :..,,. ,:: :::::,,,,,. : ::::: :,: ::: :::, ,,::. .,,, ,: :::::,,,.,.. ::: : :, ,:: :,:,,: ,,:. .,.. ,:: :::,:,,,.,. .

}<<< < } }**<<<<****}*}*<~<}**<*<* ~*} }}}}}*}}}}}}}}}}} }< ~ }}}*<<~~~~ < }}} }}}}*}}}}}}}} ~ } *}}}**<<****<<~~< ~} } }}}}} }}}}}}}}}}} < ~~ } }}}}}*<*}} *}}**~~ *~ * }}}}} }} }}}}***}*}}} ~ ~< } }*** }*} }<**<} ~ } <} } }}}}}}}}}} ~ ~~<~ ~ } } }}} }} *}**}<<< ~ <} }}}}}}} } }}}}}} } }}*****}<<<*<< <} }}}}}} <} * } } }}} }***<<~<<*< ~ <} }}}}}}} ~< }} } ****}*<*~~~~**~}~ ~* }}}}}}} ~} }}*}}}<<~~ ~*<~ < *} }}} } < }*****<*<~~~~<}< } } }}}}}} }} }}*****<~~ ~*~} ~ } } } }} <<}< ***}}*<~~ ~ ~ ** } <<< }}}}*****~~~~ < ~<<} }}}*****<~ ~ }}} ~ ~~< }**}***<<~ } * *}}**}}**~~ * }}}*}}*}*<< } }}} }}**}}***<~ }}} <<}} *}*} }***}**<<~ ~~~*} ~ ~ *<~ **<<~<~ *} }~ ~~~ <**<<<<~~~ }}}}}}}}}} ~~~~<}} * } < ~ } }*~ ~~~<<~ } }*<<<~~~~~~<<<*} }~~~~*} ~ ~~ }< ~~~ }}}**<<~~~ ~ *~~~~* * }**<*} }*< ~<~} }}}~ ~} *<<~ ~ * }***<<*<<<<<~~~~ <~~~<} ~ *}* * ~<} }<<< } }*<~ ~ ~ <*<<<<<<<<<<<~<~~~~ *~~~~*} < } } }~ <* * }}*~ ~ ~ ~ ~~~<<<<<<<<<<<<~~ ~~* <~~~~<}} } < ~* ~ <<*~ <<< ~~~ ~~<<<<<<<<<<<<~ }}} }<~~~~~**} ~ } < <<~* << **< ~ ~ ~~~~~<<<<<<<<*<~ ~~ < }*<~~~~~~~<*}} } } ~ <****<*< *<**}<<<~ } ~ < ~ * *< } ~<<<~<~~~~~~ ~ ~~<<<<<***< < }*<~~~~~ ~~~~**} } ~~ } }< ~<*<<**<<~~ ~~~~<<<**<< **<~~~~ ~ ~ ~~<*} } *~ ~} } ~~< } } *< <}}} }}} }<~<~~ ~<<<~<<**<< ~ ~ }*<~~~~ ~~~~<*} *<~~~ <} ~ ~ }*<<<<<~ <} } }}<<~ ~~<<~<<<<<<~ * <~~~~ ~~~~*} ~ ~ ~~ }}}*<~~ ~~~ ~~~<<<<<<<<~~ * }<~~~ ~~~~~*}} * < ~~ ~} }<<~ ~ ~~~~~<<<<~<~~ < *~~~~ ~~~~<*} < } ~~ * } }*<~~ ~~~<<<<<<<<<~~~~ }*<~~~~ ~~~~<<}} < ~~ * }}*~ ~~~<<<<<<<<<<~~

UVo j UVUoUVU UUU UV jjjj UV oV U V U UVUVoVVVVojoVoojjooooV jjjjjj j UV VU U U Voojjj jjj jj j joVU UU U UUUVj oj jjj j j j ojjUVU UUU UUoVoVo jjj jj oj jj oooojjjjjjj oUUU U UU UUVVoj j j jooo j jjjoooojjjjjjjjjjj UU oVVVU UUVUVUU UUVVoo jjj j jjooVVooooojjjjjjjjj UUU jjoVUV UUU UVUVojj jjjjj oo j j jooVVVVoooojojjjjjjj UUUUUUUUUU j jjVUUUU VU UUVVVj jojj oooooj jjoooVVoVVooooojjjjjjj UUUVVUUUUUUUU VUUU U UU UUoooojjjjojojVVVoj ojjooVVVVVVVVoooojjjjjjj j j UUVVVVVU UUUU ooUoV V U U VVooooooooVVVVVVVVo ojjoooVVVVVVoVoooojjjjj j UVVVVVVUU UUUU joV UU UoVoVoooVVVooUVUVVo j ooooooVVVVVVVVVoooo jjj jjjjj UVooooVV jV UUUVVVoVVVVVUVUUVVooj o VooooVVVVVUVVVVVojjjjjjjjjjjjjj UVVoooVVUU joV U UUUUUVVUUVVUUUVVVo jooooVVVUUUUVVVVVooojjjjjjjjjjjj UVoooooVVU jV UVVVVVVUVUUUUVooo ojjjoVVUVUUVVVVVVoojoojjjjjjj UoooooVVU oU UVVVoVVVUUVUUVojjj VoooooVUUUUUUVVVVoooojjjjjjjj jj UVVoooooVU oU UUUVVVUVVVVUVVVojj VooooVVVUUUUUUUVVoooojjjjjjjjjjj VooooooooVVU U VVU UV UUUVVUVUVVUVVoo VoooVVVUUUUUUVVVVVooojjjjjjj jjj o joooooVVU V VUU UUUVUUUUUVVUUUUUUVVoj jVooVoVUUUUUUUVVVoooojjjjjjj j o jjooVVUU j jVVUU VU UU U U U U UUVVVooVoj o jooooVUUUUUUUUVVVVooojjjjjjjjjjj j jjoVVU oVVUUU VVj joj jjj V UVUUUUUVUU UVUU VUooVUo jjjoVVVUUUUUUVVVoojj j o joVU VUU UUUo o oVUUVVVoVUUVVVVVVoj ooVVVVUVVVVooj V joVU jVUVUUUV jjVUVVoooV Vjooooj joooVVojj U jooVU oVUVVVoo joVUUVoj jojooVUUVVooj oU Vo jjj U joVU j oVVVVUoj jjoVU oj jjoVV Uoj V UUUo jV U joVUU VVVVUVo j joVUUUU UUVVojj jVU Vo oUUVUUUUUVUUVoj jjj joVUU oVVVUoVVjjoUUVoj jV Uj jj jooVU U VVVVVUVVVVVV jVU UVo V ojj joVVU oVVVVVUVUUo V UUVoVVVU V j jjU joUo o V Voj joVUU V joVVVVUUUUVojoVUV UU UjoojoVUU UU VU U oVoVVV VoVo oo Uoj joVU Uj ooVVUU UU oooVUVU Voj joUVUU V j j jooVV UUVVV joj j Vo joVU UUV oooVVU UVojj joV U V oooojooo oVVooVj joj UVoj jooVU UU o oooVVU U U U o jVooVVVUUUUUVVVoVVUU UVojojjoj UVoj joVUUU UV oooVVUU U U V VoV UUVVVjjVjjjj UUVVoj jooVUUUUUU oo ojoVUU V V jVVU U UVVVooj jjj UUVVoj jooVUUUUUUUUUUV U oojoVUU U oj oV UUUVVVVojj

WWWWWMWWWWWM K&K&&&MMMMWWM& WWWWMMWWWWWWW& MM&&&&MMMWWWWWWWWMWW&K WMMM&&&MWWWWW& &MMM&K&MWWWWWWWWWWMM&K WWM&K&KK&WWWW K&MMMM&&&WWWWWWWWWWM&K WMK &&&&&&&W &MMM&MMKMWWWWWWWWWM&K KK K KKK W& &MWWMMMW MMMMMMM&WWWWWWWWWWWM&KKKK&K KK&KK M KMWWWWWWW WMMMWWMMWWWWWWWWWWWWMKKKKKK KKKK M &MWWWWWW &MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMMM&&&& KK&&KK W KMWWWWWW K&& &K K K KK&KK WW KMWWWWWWK &K K K & & K&WWWWWW KK K &WM &MWWWWW KKKK K KWW & K KMWWWW K&&M&K &MMMWW K & K&WWWW K&MMWMWWWWWW&MWWW &MWMMMMK KK &&KK& &MMWWWWWWWM&MMWM MWWWWW&KKK K &MMK& K&MWWWWWWWW&K &WM KMWWWWWM& &K &MMW &&MMWWWW&&&&MWWW MWWWWM& WK KWW K&&MWWM KWM MWWMKK W& &M&MW&KWWWMK MMWWM&K WWK K&M&MM & & &&WMK WW& K&K&& KW &W WM& KKKW& KW &&&K &&&&K MMM KKK KK K&KK

,.:, ::,,. ,, ::., :.. ,,, :, .. .. , . , . : : , , .: : ,,: . . : , :: . :.,: , . , ,: :,,..: . : :..,: :: . .. :.::. : ,, , :,, ,: : , , :: .: : . ,, ,:, : , :,:,,, : , .. ,..::,: : , . :,., :,,: : . ::.,: ,: :,. :::. .,: :.. :, :,: ::, .,,: :,. , :, :: ::, ..,: ,, ::: :. , : ,, ..,: ::: : ,,,..,: :: : , .,: .. . :. : .,: . . :, ,. ., ..,: :. : . : . , .,,.. ., ..,,. : ::: ,, :. , ..., ...... :::::: . , .... .. ::::::::::: , , : : ,.. .....

* < < < }~~ ~<<* }* ~ ~ *<}* ~ < }*~* < ~ <~ ~ ~ ~ }~ } < < ~* * ~**< ~ }} }* *< < * * < <~ }}**< * ~ }< ~ **~* ~< ~*}}}}* }**} < * <*<~}< ~ } <** *<<<< ~<*}} < << }****} * * ** *< ~ <** }~~< < ****} }*<* *~ * <**}}*<<~ < }}*}} ~<< <~ ~*}}}}*<~ ~ }}}}} < }< ~**}}}**~ ~ }}}} }~* * ~ <*}}}}*< * }}}} ~~} * * ~<} }< }}}*}} } < <* * }}**}} } }<~ ~ < * }< <} } }}****}}}} < ***<* }< ~ * }} *~ ~*} *~ ********}} } * ~ *~ * ~}}< ~ ~*}}* }*<*<<*<**} *} ** } } **~~ <*~ ~~ *<<<<<<<<<<<~} } ~ ~<<~ << }*<<<<<<<<<<~ < }} *}} }}*<<*} * ~~~ ~ }*<<<<~~~~~~ <** *}}} }<~ }*<<<~~~~ ~ ~ * }** * }}}*<<~~~~ ~ ~} }} <~ }}*<<~~ } ~<*< ~<* ~

U VooVVVoooj VVoooojjj jU VoojUoo VVVVoooooj U VoooVoojj oUUUVVVoooo j V VoVoUUojj VUUUUUVVoooo UU oU UUUU Ujj o o U UVVVooo UVU jV Vjjj VU VVVooo UVU V Uojj UUU UVVVVV jVUU UVjoj U UUUVVV o jV V VU U U UV Uoj jo o U jU Vo jVU UVo U Uj Voj o o jV o Uo U j j Vj oU j U j o U j j o o o U UUVoV VUUU Uo UVVVo j Uj oU UV U UVVo V jVU jVU V U Vj Uoj oU oV U V UUV o jjjoV VoU V UVoj o jjjooU oVU U j U UVoj jjj V jjjjooojVU Uo UVVj jjjj j jjjj joV U U U jU Vjo joj o jojoU U o U U j jj Uj oj VU V j j V j oVUV V U U UVj jjoo UVUo VUVjj jooUU UVUVoo j oUUUVj j jjj Voooojj oVVVoj j oojjjj oVUVVjj ojoojj jjj VoojoVj joj j

Related People