Quote
Catalog

Quotes tagged ‘Best of Quotes’

(20 total)

Woodstock: What's the password? Ace Ventura: New England clam chowder. Woodstock: Is that the red or the white? Ace Ventura: Ah, I can never remember that. White.

— Jack Bernstein, Ace Ventura, Jim Carrey, amazon.com

[While looking at a very large castle] Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?

— William Steig, Ted Elliott, Shrek, Mike Myers, amazon.com

Shrek: Ogres are like onions... Donkey: They stink? Shrek: Yes... No. Donkey: They make you cry? Shrek: Nooo!

— William Steig, Ted Elliott, Shrek, Mike Myers, amazon.com

Shrek: I'm going to be a father, how did this happen? Puss: Allow me to explain. You see when a man loves a woman, a powerful urge sweeps over him. Shrek: I know how it happened!!

— William Steig, Ted Elliott, Shrek, Mike Myers, amazon.com

My donkey fell in your waffle hole.

— William Steig, Ted Elliott, Shrek, Mike Myers, amazon.com

If I have to tear this universe another black hole, I'm going to find it. I've..... got to mister.

— Jack Bernstein, Ace Ventura, Jim Carrey, amazon.com

Ace Ventura Pet Detective. And you must be the Monopoly guy.

— Jack Bernstein, Ace Ventura, Jim Carrey, amazon.com

Your request is not unlike your lower intestine. Stinky and loaded with danger.

— Jack Bernstein, Ace Ventura, Jim Carrey, amazon.com

Ace Ventura: Hi, I'm looking for Ray Finkle. Ray Finkles Mom: [Pulls out shotgun] Ace Ventura: And a clean pair of shorts.

— Jack Bernstein, Ace Ventura, Jim Carrey, amazon.com

Good question aguado, first I establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bugs dick and became insanely jealous.

— Jack Bernstein, Ace Ventura, Jim Carrey, amazon.com

Holy testicle Tuesday! Hey maybe I'll give you a call some time. Your number still 9-1-1? Alrighty then.

— Jack Bernstein, Ace Ventura, Jim Carrey, amazon.com

No the guy with the rubber glove was surpringly gentle.

— Jack Bernstein, Ace Ventura, Jim Carrey, amazon.com

Do you find me sexy? Ohhhh, look at my tit-ays.

— Michael McCullers, Mike Myers, Fat Bastard, Mike Myers, amazon.com

Austin Powers: Did you just soil yourself? Fat Bastard: Maybe? It did sound a little wet, didn't it? Right at the end. Let's have a smell alright. Ohh wafting, wafting. Ohh everyone likes their own brand, this is magic. Alright analysis... It smells like carrots and throws up. Ohh that could gag a m…

— Michael McCullers, Mike Myers, Fat Bastard, Mike Myers, amazon.com

Come here I'm going to eat you. I'm bigger than you I'm higher on the food chain. Get in my belly!

— Michael McCullers, Mike Myers, Fat Bastard, Mike Myers, amazon.com

Here's my diaper. I think I might have pinched one off too soon. [Sniffs diaper] Oh ya, I left a rosebud in there for ya.

— Mike Myers, Michael McCullers, Fat Bastard, Mike Myers, amazon.com

Of course, I'm not happy. Look at me, I'm a big fat slob. I've got bigger titties than you. I've got more chins than Chinese phone book. I've not seen my willy in two years which is long enough to declare I'm legally dead.

— Michael McCullers, Mike Myers, Fat Bastard, Mike Myers, amazon.com

Listen missy, do you fancy another go? Because once you've had fat you never go back.

— Michael McCullers, Mike Myers, Fat Bastard, Mike Myers, amazon.com

Dr. Evil, let me make you a deal alright? You keep the mojo, you keep the money. And I'll get your baby [while smacking lips].

— Michael McCullers, Mike Myers, Fat Bastard, Mike Myers, amazon.com

First things first, where's your shitter? I've got a turtle head poking out. I'm not kidding I got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. Christ I'm getting all emotinoal from it, ya know?

— Mike Myers, Michael McCullers, Fat Bastard, Mike Myers, amazon.com

W W WW WW W MW W WW W W WW W W W WW W W &W W WW W W WW &W W W& WW WW& W W K W WW& WW W W M W W MWKW &WW W & W WW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWMMMMMMMWMMMMMMMMW WM&&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMK KWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM KW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMMMMMMMMMMMWWWWWWWWWMMMMM&&&MM&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&W WKKKKKK&&MWWWWWMMMMMM&&&&&WWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&K &WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM WWKK WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMMMMMWWW MWWMMM&&MMMMMM&&&&M&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&W WKKKKKK&MMWWWWWMMMMMMM&&&MMWWWWWWWWWWKWWM&K &WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WK WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KWMMMMM&MMMMMMMMMM&&MM&MMMMMM&&MMMMMW W&KKKKK&MMWWWWWMMMMMMM&&&&MWWWWWWW& &&K MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM W& WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWWWWWM&WWWWMMMMMMW W&KKKKK&MMWWWWWWMMMM&M&&&&MWWWWWWW WK MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM& W& WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWMMMMM&MMMMMMWW MWWMMMWW W&&KKK&&MMWWWWWMMMMMMMM&&&MWWWWWWW W MK MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKKK W& WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WMMMMMMMMMMWM WWWWWW W&&KKKK&MMWWWWWWWMMMMMM&&&MWWWWWWW K WK &WWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMKK W& WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WMMMMMMMMMW& WWWWW W&&&&&&&MMWWWWWWWWMMMMMM&MMWWWWWWW WK &WWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&KKK W& WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KWMMMMMMMM&K WWWW W&&&&&&&MMWWWWWWWMMMMMMM&&MWWWWWWW WK &WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&KK W& WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWMMMMMMM& WWW W&K&&&&&MMWWWWWWWMMMMMM&&&MWWWWWWK WK &WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMKK W& WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWMMMMMM&& KK MWW W&K&&&&&MMWWWWWWWWMMMMM&&&MWWWWWW KWK MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&KK &WK WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW K WWWWMMMMMM& WW W&&&&&&&MMWWWWWWWMMMMMMM&&MWWWWWW MM& MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& K WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWMMMMMMMW W W&&&&&&&MMWWWWWWWMMMMMM&&&MWWWWWW WM& MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMKKK & WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM MWWWWMMWMMMMM W W&&&&&&&MMWWWWWMMMMMMM&&&&&WWWWWW W&K KMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&KK K WWWWWWWWWWWWWW KKWWWWWWM W&&&&&&&&&&&K K W&&&&&&&&MWWWWWWMMMMM&&&KK&WWWWWW W&KWM& KMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&KK KWMMMMMMMMMMM WWWWWWW WKK&&&&&&&MWWWWMMMM&&&&KKK&WWWWWWW&WWW WWWM& KMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&KK K WWWWWWWWWWWM WWWWWWWM W KK&&&&&&MWWWWMM&&&&&&KKKKMWWWWW&WWWWW&MMMK MWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&KK K K&WWWWWWWWW WM MWKK WKKKKKKKK&MMWWMM&&&&&&KK KMWWWWWMWWWWW&W&& MWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&KKK KMWWWWWWWW W KKKKKKK&&MMMM&&&KK&KKK MWWWWWMWWWWW&MK &MWWWWWWMWWWWW&KKK WKKKKKKK&&&MMMM&&KKKKKK &MWWWWKWWWWWMK &MWWWWWMWWWWWW&KK WKKKKK KK&&&MM&&KKK K&&&&&&WWWWWW &MWWWWWMMWWWWW&KKK WK KK KKKK&&&&K KK WWW &MWWWWMMMMWWWW&&KKK WK K KKK&KK WWW KMMWWMMMMMWWWWMM&K WK K KKK WWW K&MMMMM&MMWWWWM K WK K WWW K&MMMMM&&MWWM WK K WWW K&MMMM&&&MM& WK K WWW K&MM&&&&&&& & WK KWK WW& K&MM&&K&&& WK K &WWWWWWWWW&&KWWW W M KK&M&KKKK

, , : . , , . , : , . :,, . .. , :: . . :, , , . . : . .., ,.,,,,,::,,. . , ,:,: :,,::,, . ., . .,: ,,::,: . :., . .,, ,,::, ,: .,: , , ,,. .,,, , :, .., ,:. . , , . , : ., , , .: ., ,,:,,: :: : .,. :,,,., ,: :,,.,, ,.: : ,,,., , , : . : . .,.. , , . , ,., .,, , ,. . ,.... : : .,,. , : , . , . : ..........: ,.,..,,. , ,., . .. : .,,. ...,.....,,.: ,., ,,,. :: ,. . ,. : : ....,,..,....,:::.....,, :,. ,.... : . .. .........,,.,...,,,....,..,,, :,,.,. , :: :. : :: ,.. . ..........,,,,.....,,....,.,.. : :.,,, .. . :: , . .. ............,,,,,... ....,..,,:,:... ,:.... : ,. , .............,,,,,,. .,,,,:,,,:,:,,,,,...... ..,.... : ............,,,,,,,..,:.,..,.:::...,,,,....,,,... .. ...........,,,,,,,,..:.,,..,:.,..,,,,,.,..,,.,,....,

} ~* < <~ < ~ < ~ <~ ~ * ~ < ~ < } } < ~} ~ } * } } }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} } }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}* ****}}} }}}}}}}}}}}} }}}**<<<*} }}****<<*** * < }<~ ~ * ~ ~ } } } < * }*~ < *~~~ } * ~* * * } * ~ < < <~ ~ ~ ~ } < * <} ~ }~ * } }}}} }}} ~ ~ } * < < }}*} * < ~ ~ < < } ~ *} *} * < < < ~ } } <*~~* **~ << < <* ~ }*} } }~* ~ *~ }<*** } ~ * }}*} } * ~ } } } ~ } }} * *} } <<* * }<<<<<* ~ < } <~<<< }* }}}} } }*** ~*} * * }~ } *< }}}* ~<<< ~<**<<~ }} ******** ~ * < } ~~ **<*}}*~ ** <<******< ~ ~ *}}}}}}~ }** }~ <<*<<<<< <<} }}}} } } }*<* }}*< <~<<<<~ ~ }}< ~* }} * * }}*<* }<~ ~~~ } ~ ~ ~ < <~ <*}*~ }*}}}* * }}**<* }<<~ ~<<~~ ~~*<*~ * }*}}}* *}}}*<<* }* *<~~<***< }<<< * }}}**}} }*<<} * *}***<<* }}***<****< * ~ < } }* ~* <<<* }*} *} }}}***< <} } } }}* }~ <<<* }***} }* }*} }*<

U V U V U o U U o o U U j ooooojjjjjjjj j j jjjjjj jjooooojjjjj jjjooooojjjjoj V U UoV U UVjoU UUVooU V V UojoU UVVoooo U UVjoU ooVV U U UVjoU ooVV U jj V UVjoU UVVoVo U o VUUUUVV j UVjoU UVVoVV U j oUUUUUUVVoo j UVjoU UVoVo U jjj jUUUVVVV VVVVj UojoU UVooo U oj Vo j VVVVUUVo j j o UojoU UUVoVo U o VUUooojU j joVUU UVo V o UojoU UVojo U UjoVVU UVoU VooU V V jVUUVj j o j UVjoU U U UooVVj VVjVUVo o Vo U UVooU UVojoVU V VVVVVo Vj o j jjoVVojoUj U V VoV UVVooVU o VVVU UU joj U jVVUjoVoU UVj U VVU o VoV UVVooVVUo VVUUUVU UUUo j oVVVVVVVoVVVoo jVV jV oVoj j UoV UVooooV V U UVoVoo j oVVoo VUVVVVVVVVVVVoj joj jjjjj U VoVU UVoojjV o o UVj U V jVUUVVVVVVoVo j jo UU UoooU UVojjoVUo oU VUV VVo oVoj j oVoooj jjjVVo U UUU UVjjoU UVojjjoVUj oVoojjjjjoo jUUjoVVUUUU oooVjj UUVU VVo oU UUVoojjoVUj j UUVjVVVUV jUooVV U UUUUUVVV Vooj jV UVVojjoVUj UUVooUVV U UU UUUUVVVVVVVU UUVVj jjjjj jV UVjjjoj VVVojoj jj U UUUUU UUVVVVVoooVVVoooooo jjj jV UVj oUVj oVUUVoj U UUUUUUU UVVooooooooooooj jj jj jV V j UUVoo U UUUUUUVUUVVooojjjjjjooooj j jV V VUUUoo U UUUUUVVVVVoojjjjjjjjjoooj jV V jj j VVUUVo U UUUUVVVoooojj jjjj j jV Uojjj jV UVoVUo UUUUVVVooojjjj jVooVoooVVVVU o jo jV Uj jjj j VUVj jUVVVUo U UUUVVojj j o oo VU jV Vj jj j j

& & K K K W MWWWWWWWWWWWM&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW MWWWWWWWWMWK MWWWWWWWWW KWWWWWWWWMMWWW W&MWWWWWMMWWW M &WWWWWWWW WK MWWWWWWWW && &WWWW &W WMMWWWWWMMWWW W KWWWWWWM& WK WWWWWWWWW K WWWW && W WMMWWWWWWMWWW W &WWWWWWM& WK WWWWWWWWW& KK WWWW WMMWWWWWMMWWW M &WWWWWWWW&W WWWWWWWWWWWK KWWWWW KK WMMWWWWMM&WWW KW &WWWWWWM& K KWWWW& KWWW M&KKK MMMWWWM&&KWWWWWWM &WWWWWWM& K &&M&& & M&&MWM&&&KMWWWWM &WWWWWM&K K && M&&MM&KK KK WW KWWWWWWW& MK M&&K&K WW KWWWWW MM M&K WM KWWMW & MM M& WWWWWWW MM KWWM &MW& KK K&WWWM& WW KWMK MM& KW MWWWWWWWWWW KMM &K KM &WWWWWWW& & KW& K& WWWWW&KMMWWM &W M K W &K W K K WWWWWW& W K WM WK & MWK KKW&M WWW & K&WMWWM WWWMMWMMWMWK KWWWWM WWWWW&WMK &MWWM& &MMWW& KMWWMMK &&WK WWWWWW&

, : , : ,. . .. , , : , . , , . . , .. ,.., : ..,,,.,... ,,. : ..,,,,,,..,,::. ,. ..,,,,,,,,,,,:.,.,,,.. ..,,,,,:,,.,.,::,,.. ,, ....,,,,,,,.,:,.,,,.. ...,,,:,:,,,:,, ::,., .,,,,,:::,,,,. .,,,,,:,:,,,,. : , ,,,,,,,,,,,.,. :: :::: ::::,,,. : . :., , :: : :: , : ., :: : :,,: , :: :::,. : :, .. ::: ::, , ,, : : ::. ::,: : . ::: :

* }* ~ * } ~ } } ~ ***<<<~~<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< ~~<<<<~~~<<*<<<<~ ~<*<<*<<~~< < <~* ~ } } < } < ~ * * ~ * } } ~* } *} < ~<~ ~ < **< < < < }~< } ~ * } ~ } } * } < * * }** * < <~~~ *<* } < } }*} <} }}}}<}} ~~* }}*} < ~*<*~ <*<<*~ < * }} } <~}* <~* <}**< << **~~< } < * <~** }*~ *}}<<~ ~ *< <*~~< * * < < ~ } **<~ <}*~~~ ~ ~~~~ ~~ *<<<***< < * }* }}}}}*~ *}<~~~~~ ~ ~~~ ~<<<<~<<<~ }}<* }*< }** ~ **<~~~~~ ~~~~ <*}}*~ < * }*< } } < *}<<~~~~ ~~~~ ~<*}**~ <<* * ~~ ~ }* < *}~~~~~~~ <~~~~~ ~<<*<~~~<<*~<* ~ * } } ~< < <<<<~~~<}~<<<<~~~<<<**~<~<<< <<~ <<~~< } ~

o V U oUV o U Vo o V VV jo U jj V V U o j U oj V V o Uo VV U j V o V o UVoU oUUj Uj V V U ojU VU V j jj U V V o VVoo VooUo o U V V o VU VV VV jo oo V Uo V V j V V jVV V UU U Voj VV jUj V VVVUVjj jjj U o V UUVjjooVjo j j UVojjj U V j V Uoj jj UooUVVV o Vj Vj U j jojVooj V j Uj j VjojoVoj V o o UU j jjjj ooj V j j j ojjj j Vo UU VV V V oj jjjjjj V U UV Uoojjjj UV o j Uoj oojjjj oo jj jV U Vj V o U VUUo j jU V j j U o U o U o j j j V ooo o