“Of course, I'm not happy. Look at me, I'm a big fat slob. I've got bigger titties than you. I've got more chins than Chinese phone book. I've not seen my willy in two years which is long enough to declare I'm legally dead.”
More from Michael McCullers
“Carl: I want you back. I haven't had sex in two weeks. Angie Ostrowiski: I've been gone…”
“[moans] This diaper's making my nuts rub together. It's gonna start a fire.”
“Got an issue? Here's a tissue.”
“I haven't laughed that hard since I was a little girl. Thank you.”