“No, I'd rather be surprised by a disappointment than happy with what I expected. It's why I never ask if a pool is heated.”Tagged: Expectations, Happy, Pool, heated
“Dave: Whore's Bath? Penny: Uh, yeah, David, I did take a Whore's Bath, Okay? I had a one-night stand, and I didn't have time to shower, so did I rub some dryer sheets on my pits and splash some water on my hush in the bathroom of an Au Bon Pain? Yes, I did. I'm sorry that I'm a modern-day single…”Tagged: Drink, gin, upset
“Yuk, yuk, yuk it up, because my body is a temple and your bodies are stadium urine troughs.”Tagged: Body, Temple, Metaphor Examples
“Avi: My cleanse is pretty next level. I'm only eating clear foods, and I've given up all sexual intimacies. That's right, y'all. Avi's celibate. Penny: Are you sure that's a choice, Avi? Avi: Good dig. But jealousy is not a sweat pant that fits you well.”Tagged: Diss, Jealous, burn, Sassy, Cleanse
“Okay, as someone who's dated enough gay guys to earn the nickname 'will she ever learn?,' I cannot allow you to keep wasting this girl's time.”Tagged: Dating, learn, Lessons