Vince Calandra

32 quotes

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From “Terminal Stimpy”

“Wait here! Let's celebrate the first day of our eventual demise. I'll light the candle.”

From “Closer”

“We need to talk about your daughters. One of them is dangerous and the other ones in danger.”

Tagged: danger, daughters, dangerous

From “Ripe”

“When I was a kid, I wanted to be a vet, and I volunteered at this animal shelter. I'd see the animals come in burned, tortured, mutilated. I got less interested in treating the animals and more interested in catching the animals who did that to 'em.”

Tagged: Compassion, Protecting People, Police, Cops, Why Cops Do What They Do

“My mama says all of history was written by men, so of course they're gonna make themselves look good.”

Tagged: History, History Is Written By The Winners, feminism

“I'm an unconventional girl. That's what you like about me.”

Tagged: Femme Fatale, Being Different, doing things your own way

From “No Pain, No Gain / Who Gives a Buck”

“Waitress: Will there be anything else, sir? Heffer Wolfe: [referring to a pair of chopsticks] Yeah, these plastic things can't cut my burrito.”

“Rocko: We don't need some hoity-toity health club to stay in shape, eh, Heff? Heffer Wolfe: No way, man! Care for another slice of pizza? Rocko: I'm feeling the burn! Heffer Wolfe: Yeah, you should blow on it first. The cheese is hot.”

From “Leap Frogs / Bedfellows”

“Ed Bighead: [looking through binoculars] Bev, I can't believe it! Do you know what that weirdo next door is up to? Bev Bighead: Oh, shut up and mind your own business, Ed. Ed Bighead: But, Bev, they're, well... uh... nude! Bev Bighead: [looks through Ed's binoculars] Oh, Ed, oh, you're right! Oh,…”

From “Carnival Knowledge / Sand in Your Nave”

“Rocko: Come on, Hef. Let's go. I think I'm bleeding internally.”

From “Who's for Dinner? / Love Spanked”

“Heffer Wolfe: [writing Rocko's personals ad] Marsupial with big hairy chest seeking female with same. Will suck the fillings out of your teeth if you let me. I am adventurous and will try anything once. Twice if you're lucky!”

“Heffer Wolfe: Give me another double order of fries. Bartender: Sorry, pal. I think you've had enough. Heffer Wolfe: I'll tell you when I've had enough, you greasy plate jockey!”

From “The Lounge Singer / She's the Toad”

“Rocko: I know the secret for getting rid of stage fright! Filburt Shellbach: You do? Tell me, tell me! Rocko: Just picture the audience... naked! [Rocko pushes Filburt on stage, but Filburt freezes up and goes back] Filburt Shellbach: I can't do it. It's way too disgusting. [Rocko pokes his head out…”

Vince Calandra

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