“Vampire sex is like pizza, in that even when it's bad it's good. It's designed to be enjoyed by eight or more people. There's a choice of toppings.And in the morning, you're like, 'Aah! Why do I have puncture wounds on my penis?’”
More from Marika Sawyer
“Guillermo is my familiar, but sometimes he's a little too familiar, you know what I mean?…”
“Nandor is like a big turkey just walking around trying to control everything on the farm.…”
“It's a glitter portrait. It's a portrait made from glitter.”
“You just shut up now, my stupid little baby.”