“I just brought my friend to a house full of vampires. I brought my virgin friend into a house full of vampires.”Tagged: Virgins, Vampires, Vampies Eating Virgins
“There is nothing more devastating than finding out your husband has made porn... and it's so bloody boring.”Tagged: Boring Porono
“Vampire sex is like pizza, in that even when it's bad it's good. It's designed to be enjoyed by eight or more people. There's a choice of toppings.And in the morning, you're like, 'Aah! Why do I have puncture wounds on my penis?’”Tagged: Nandor the Relentless, Vampire Sex, Sex and Pizza
“Government Official: Please describe the right to bear arms. Nandor: If it's a nice day, you should have the right to bare your arms. Government Official: All right.Moving on.”Tagged: Witty Dialouge , Right to Bear Arms
“It seems that, uh, government workers are immune to hypnotism. It's like their souls are dead or something.”Tagged: Government Workers, The Soulless
“We have come up with a list of all the things we would like to change once the vampires are in charge. I'd like to see the construction of a huge opaque dome the size of the city, covering the city, and blocking out all sunlight. No noise during daylight hours. All local churches to destroy their…”Tagged: Vampire Demands
“When it comes to zoning ordinances, I have a few thoughts.”Tagged: Emotional Vampires at Town Meetings