Guillermo is my familiar, but sometimes he's a little too familiar, you know what I mean? I mean, he's always just there.
Catalog
Marika Sawyer
AllVampies Eating Virgins (1)Emotional Vampires at Town Meetings (1)Nandor the Relentless (1)The Soulless (1)Witty Dialouge (1)Vampires (1)Virgins (1)Vampire Sex (1)Right to Bear Arms (1)Sex and Pizza (1)Amusing Insults (1)Glitter Portrait (1)Vampie Familars (1)Boring Porono (1)Government Workers (1)
Nandor is like a big turkey just walking around trying to control everything on the farm. And Laszlo is my big, crazy, wild bear and we love to chase each other around the house. We have a great time together.
It's a glitter portrait. It's a portrait made from glitter.
I just brought my friend to a house full of vampires. I brought my virgin friend into a house full of vampires.
There is nothing more devastating than finding out your husband has made porn... and it's so bloody boring.
Vampire sex is like pizza, in that even when it's bad it's good. It's designed to be enjoyed by eight or more people. There's a choice of toppings.And in the morning, you're like, 'Aah! Why do I have puncture wounds on my penis?’
You just shut up now, my stupid little baby.
Government Official: Please describe the right to bear arms. Nandor: If it's a nice day, you should have the right to bare your arms. Government Official: All right.Moving on.
It seems that, uh, government workers are immune to hypnotism. It's like their souls are dead or something.