“Everything changes when you get to big one-o. Your legs start to go, candy doesn't taste as good anymore.”
More from Mike Reiss
“[finishing a movie review] ... and that is why Goldie Hawn should be shot!”
“Margo: Debutante balls are outdated, elitist, and sexist. You said so yourself in your…”
“Jay Sherman: [answering the phone] Hello? Eleanor Sherman: Jay, this is your mother. Your…”
“Oh, my shrink was right! God does hate me!”