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Jesse Eisenberg

19 quotesTelevision Actor · Born Oct 5, 1983 · United States Of America · Male

Jesse Adam Eisenberg (born October 5, 1983) is an American actor, author and playwright. Born and raised in New York City, Eisenberg began acting in plays at an early age, and made his television debut with the short-lived comedy-drama series Get Real (1999–2000). Following his first leading role in the comedy-drama film Roger Dodger (2002), he appeared in the drama film The Emperor's Club (2002), the psychological thriller film The Village (2004), the comedy-drama film The Squid and the Whale (2005) and the drama film The Education of Charlie Banks (2007). In 2006, Eisenberg was the recipient of the Vail Film Festival Rising Star Award for his role in The Living Wake. In 2009, Eisenberg had his breakthrough with starring roles in the comedy-drama film Adventureland with Kristen Stewart and the horror comedy Zombieland with Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin, and Woody Harrelson. His portrayal of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg in David Fincher's The Social Network (2010) earned him nominations for various awards, including the BAFTA, Golden Globe, and Academy Award for Best Actor. He also starred in Holy Rollers (2010), which was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize at the 2010 Sundance Film Festival. Since, he has gone on to voice the main character, Blu, a male Spix's macaw, in the animated films Rio (2011) and Rio 2 (2014); starred in the 2011 action-comedy film 30 Minutes or Less; starred in two films by Woody Allen, To Rome with Love (2012) and Café Society. He played a magician in the heist film Now You See Me (2013) and its sequel Now You See Me 2 (2016); re-teamed with Kristen Stewart for the action-comedy film American Ultra (2015); and portrayed supervillain Lex Luthor opposite Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, and Gal Gadot in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, which was released in March 2016. Eisenberg has contributed pieces to The New Yorker and McSweeney's website

All devil (2)God (2)cardio (2)Battle (1)ding dong (1)fly (1)Good (1)Sky (1)monsters (1)paul revere (1)red capes (1)seatbealts (1)Friends (1)silver bullet (1)Power (1)

From “The Social Network”

Erica Albright: [Angry] I'm sorry you are not sufficiently impressed with my education. Mark Zuckerberg: I'm sorry I don't have a rowboat, so we're even. Erica Albright: I think we should just be friends. Mark Zuckerberg: I don't want friends. Erica Albright: I was just being polite, I have no…

Envy Friends polite Education

Mark Zuckerberg: I'm not a bad guy. Marylin Delpy: I know that. When there's emotional testimony, I assume that 85% of it is exaggeration. Mark Zuckerberg: And the other fifteen? Marylin Delpy: Perjury. Creation myths need a Devil.

Emotion Perjury devil creation myth

You know, you really don't need a forensics team to get to the bottom of this. If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook.

forensics Facebook

Mark Zuckerberg: I went to my friend for the money because that's who I wanted to be partners with. Eduardo was the president of the Harvard Investors Association, and he was also my best friend. Gage: Your best friend is suing you for six hundred million dollars. Mark Zuckerberg: [Sarcastically] I…

Harvard Lawsuit

Ma'am, I know you've done your homework and so you know that money isn't a big part of my life, but at the moment I could buy Mt. Auburn Street, take the Phoenix Club, and turn it into my ping-pong room.

homework Money ping-pong

From “Batman v Superman”

The bells are already been rung, and they’ve heard it. Out in the dark, among the stars. Ding dong, the God is dead.

bells ding dong

You don’t have to use the silver bullet, but if you forge one… Well, then… We don’t have to depend upon the kindness of monsters.

silver bullet monsters kindness

The Red Capes are coming! The Red Capes are coming!

red capes paul revere

If man won’t kill God, the Devil will do it!

Man God devil

Do you know the oldest lie in America, Senator? It’s that power can be innocent.

Lie Power Innocence

What we call God depends upon our tribe, Clark Jo. Because God is tribal. God takes sides. No man in the sky intervened when I was a boy to deliver me from daddy’s fist and abominations. I’ve figured it out way back, if God is all powerful, He cannot be all good. And if He is all good, then He…

Tribal God Powerful Good

You will fly to him, and you will battle him to the death. Black and blue. Fight night! The greatest gladiator match in the history of the world. God versus man. Day versus night. Son of Krypton versus Bat of Gotham!

fly Battle Death black and blue Gladiator

The devils don’t come from hell beneath us. No. No, they come from the sky.

Devils Hell Sky

From “Brightburn”

They’re dialin’ up the rhetoric on Iraq. Let’s see if we can nail ‘em down, OK? Let’s get to work.

Iraq Rhetoric

From “Zombieland”

It’s amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total shit storm.

Horrendous shit storm

[after his neighbor changes into a zombie] You see? You just can’t trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.

Trust Cannibalism

The first rule of Zombieland: cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons...were the fatties.

cardio Fat-Shaming

You are like a giant cock-blocking robot, like, developed in a secret fucking government lab.

cock-blocking Robot Fucking

So until next time, remember: cardio, seatbelts, and this really has nothing to do with anything, but a little sunscreen never hurt anybody. I’m Columbus, Ohio from Zombieland, saying goodnight.

cardio seatbealts

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