“Dr. Kelso: This Friday, I am receiving an award from the A.M.A.—
Dr. Cox: Jerk-Off of the Year. No, Bastard of the Year! Uh, don't you tell me! Guy I Despise So Much, I'd Pay Someone To Kill You and Stuff You and Leave You by my Bed, So That When I Wake Up in the Morning, I Could Roll Over and Punch You in the Face...of the Year.”
More from Tim Hobert
“Well, when you say 'classmate', it sounds like we take naps together and eat paste, but…”
“I have a conflict. It conflicts with the enjoyment of my life.”
“Look at me. I've got the body of a fifth grader.”
“I was so unpopular in high school, the crossing guards used to lure me into traffic!”