25 Brilliant Jokes About Pregnancy

“There’s the one percent that’s super rich...and the one percent that manages to get pregnant while taking birth control.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What do people really mean when they say ‘congrats’ on your pregnancy? Nice work doing what teenagers manage to do by accident every day!”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What’s the weirdest stage of pregnancy? When people aren’t sure whether to congratulate you or buy you a gym membership.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Why is it so great to be a test tube baby? You get a womb with a view.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What do you do when your daughter, who claims she hasn’t slept with anyone, gets pregnant? Start a religion.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“How is being pregnant like being a kid again? There’s always someone telling you what to do.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Girl: ‘Mom, I’m pregnant again!! It must be something in the air! Mom: Yup...your legs, honey.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is that right? Yes, in the way that a tornado might be referred to as merely an air current.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“When’s the best time to get an epidural? Immediately after learning that your girlfriend is pregnant.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What’s the most common pregnancy craving? For men to be the ones who get pregnant.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Is there anything in particular I should avoid in the aftermath of childbirth? Yes. Pregnancy.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Are you having a natural childbirth? Why, yes—in that it’s completely natural to take drugs to alleviate excruciating pain!”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“How do you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she’s pregnant.”

— Unknkown, tcat.tc

“What do a pregnant woman and a burned cake have in common? You should’ve taken it out earlier.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What would be different if men were the ones who got pregnant? Maternity leave would last for two years with full pay and morning sickness would rank as the nation’s #1 health problem.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“How many days are there in a month? Each month has an average of 30-31 days, except the last month of pregnancy, which has 5,489,234.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“How do you win an argument? Be pregnant. That’s it! You’re done.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc