Season 2

“Everybody thinks babies are cute. Well they're not so cute when they are yours, I'll tell you that right now! Crapping and puking all over you! They cost a damn fortune to feed and all they do is make your life a misery, just like what you're doing to your parents right now!”

— Glenn Eichler, Coach Buzzcut, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“[while watching a KISS video] You know, these guys are pretty cool for a bunch of mimes.”

— Glenn Eichler, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“[watching the video for 'Hangin' Tough' by New Kids on the Block] Butt-Head: This video needs, like, more explosions and close-ups of butts. Beavis: Yeah. They should have somebody come out and start kicking these guys. That would be cool.”

— Glenn Eichler, Beavis & Butthead, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“[watching the video for 'Dancing with Myself' by Billy Idol] This guy does everything by himself.”

— Glenn Eichler, Beavis, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“What are you all doing? Choking your chicken? Come on let's get to pruning.”

— Jim Turner, Glenn Eichler, David Felton, Tom Anderson, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“David Van Driessen: Okay, class, today we're going to explore the world of haiku. Butt-Head: We're gonna explore the world of getting high? Cool!”

— Glenn Eichler, Butt-head & David Van Driessen, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“Sergeant: Has anybody in your family been in the service? Butt-Head: Uh, Beavis's dad was in the Navy. Sergeant: Is that so? Butt-Head: Yea. He was a seaman.”

— David Felton, Jim Turner, Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“Why don't you try this experiment? Analyze the friction caused by digitally oscillating your wiener!”

— Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, Daria Morgendorffer, Tracy Grandstaff, imdb.com

“Fort Dix? Is that anywhere near fort nuts?”

— Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“Butt-head: [watching an INXS video] Is this, like, satanic music? Beavis: No, because it's not really that good. Butt-head: Hey, Beavis, if you play this backwards, it says "this sucks."”

— Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, Beavis & Butthead, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“They have all this, like, complicated stuff and it makes the TV do, like, things that look weird. It's cool. It's called "special defects".”

— Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“[Tom Jones is on TV] Butt-Head: Prince sure is old! Beavis: Yeah... and he's white! Butt-Head: Yeah, he has that disease. Like Michael Jackson. Beavis: Yeah, he got it from Prince.”

— Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, Beavis & Butthead, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“The more things change, the more they suck.”

— Glenn Eichler, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“Hey Beavis, I hear that if you fill a room with gas, and light a match, all the oxygen, like, disappears, and we'll get a killer buzz!”

— Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“[Watching a Public Image Ltd music video] Public Image Ltd.: I could be black, I could be white... Butt-head: You're WHITE.”

— Glenn Eichler, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“Sergeant: I'm prepared to promise you your own guns, ammo, grenades, and uniforms. I'll get you a delayed entry, and I can probably get you stationed at Fort Dix. Butt-head: Is that anywhere near Fort Nuts?”

— Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“Butt-head: Hey, Mr. Anderson, are you gonna die pretty soon? Beavis: Yeah, and leave all your money to someone? Butt-head: That would be cool.”

— Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“Hey spank your own monkey all you want, but keep your hands off mine.”

— Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“The fatter they are, the fatter they fall.”

— Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“You asswipe! I was about to have a wet dream.”

— Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com