Episode

Pilot

by Rob Schneider, Patricia Maya Schneider, Rob, Nick Cantone, Damon Sementilli and 3 others

Rob finds that his assistant Jamie is incompetent and considers firing him, but he discovers that his stalker might be a good replacement. After being rejected for installing a stripper pole, Rob's wife Patricia wants to start a business that involves mal

(5 total)

Characters

Rob Schneider (6)Patricia Maya Schneider (5)Rob (4)Patricia (1)Patricia Schneider (1)

“When it comes to food, guys work around the problem. For a guy not to eat his food, it’ll take more than a hair. For a guy not to eat his food, it’ll take multiple hairs attached to a pair of balls.”

— Patricia Maya Schneider, Rob Schneider, Rob, Rob Schneider, imdb.com

Tagged: food, men v. women, Gross, balls

“My wife’s Mexican. She’s not like, jump out at you Mexican, you know? I’m not saying that Mexicans jump out at you, but there is some occasional jumping.”

— Patricia Maya Schneider, Rob, Rob Schneider, imdb.com

Tagged: Mexican, Sensitiviity

“Wife: I got rid of the pole because I didn’t think it was sending the right message.”

— Patricia Maya Schneider, Patricia, Patricia Schneider, imdb.com

Tagged: Stripper Pole, Baby Nursery

“I have a 40-year-old assistant. Now, he’s a great guy, but two things: Never hire a 40-year-old assistant. And never hire your friend. Especially a friend who doesn’t know jack shit about computers. Especially when you don’t know jack shit about computers.”

— Patricia Maya Schneider, Rob, Rob Schneider, imdb.com

Tagged: Assistant, Jack Shit, Friends

“Rob: So I can’t touch your boobs? Patricia: No. Rob: Well, that sucks. Patricia: You can touch my boobs over my shirt. Rob: Yeah, but it’s not the same thing. Patricia: Well, it’s better than nothing. Rob: Well, barely.”

— Rob Schneider, Patricia Maya Schneider, Rob, Rob Schneider, imdb.com

Tagged: boobs