“When it comes to food, guys work around the problem. For a guy not to eat his food, it’ll take more than a hair. For a guy not to eat his food, it’ll take multiple hairs attached to a pair of balls.”Tagged: food, men v. women, Gross, balls
“My wife’s Mexican. She’s not like, jump out at you Mexican, you know? I’m not saying that Mexicans jump out at you, but there is some occasional jumping.”Tagged: Mexican, Sensitiviity
“Wife: I got rid of the pole because I didn’t think it was sending the right message.”Tagged: Stripper Pole, Baby Nursery
“I have a 40-year-old assistant. Now, he’s a great guy, but two things: Never hire a 40-year-old assistant. And never hire your friend. Especially a friend who doesn’t know jack shit about computers. Especially when you don’t know jack shit about computers.”Tagged: Assistant, Jack Shit, Friends
“Rob: So I can’t touch your boobs? Patricia: No. Rob: Well, that sucks. Patricia: You can touch my boobs over my shirt. Rob: Yeah, but it’s not the same thing. Patricia: Well, it’s better than nothing. Rob: Well, barely.”Tagged: boobs