The Old Man

by Larry Charles, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, Tom Cherones, Jerry Hauck and 15 others(7 total)

Jerry, Elaine & George volunteer to help the elderly. Jerry gets assigned to a nasty old man. Elaine is repulsed by the goiter problems of hers and George depresses his charge. Kramer and Newman try the business of selling old records to a used record

Characters

Larry Charles (7)Jason Alexander (4)George Costanza (4)Jerry Seinfeld (2)Sid (1)Wayne Knight (1)Newman (1)Bill Erwin (1)

Ahh, what’s the point? When I like them, they don’t like me, when they like me I don’t like them. Why can’t I act with the ones I like the way I do with the ones I don’t like?

— Larry Charles, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Dating

I would like to dip my bald head in oil and rub it all over your body.

— Larry Charles, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Sexual Harassment Fantasies

Yeah, I'm a great quitter. It's one of the few things I do well. I come from a long line of quitters. My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter. I was raised to give up.

— Larry Charles, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Quitting quitters Heredity

Because the mail never stops. It just keeps coming and coming and coming, there's never a let-up. It's relentless. Every day it piles up more and more and more! And you gotta get it out but the more you get it out the more it keeps coming in. And then the bar code reader breaks and it's Publishers C…

— Larry Charles, Newman, Wayne Knight, imdb.com

Going Postal Mailmen Publishers Clearing House tension

I think I'm pretty much like you—only successful.

— Larry Charles, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Success insults

Oh her. She steals from me. Steals my money. She says she doesn't speak English. My ass she doesn't speak English. Plays that freakin’ voodoo music, tries to hypnotize me. She thinks she's gonna turn me into a zombie and then rob me blind. Well, I wasn't born yesterday. I may drop dead today, but I…

— Larry Charles, Sid, Bill Erwin, imdb.com

Maids Thievery english Voodoo Hypnosis

Oh, what's the point? When I like them, they don't like me, when they like me, I don't like them. Why can't I act with the ones I like the same way I do with the ones I don't like?

— Larry Charles, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Dating Compatibility friendzone

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