“What would happen if you put hand lotion on your feet? Would your feet get confused and start clapping?”— Ellen Degeneres, goodhousekeeping.comTagged: Hand Lotion, Foot Lotion, Absurd
“There's even a name for the people who have the most stuff. They're called hoarders. Back in the day, they were just called grandmothers.”— Ellen Degeneres, goodhousekeeping.comTagged: Hoarders, grandmothers
“I watch people's behavior and notice things. I think that's why I became a comedian. I notice how stupid the things we do are. You know, like writing the word ‘over’ on the bottom of a letter. As if someone's just going to throw the letter away without trying to turn it over first! Or, when you tast…”— Ellen Degeneres, goodhousekeeping.comTagged: comedy, Songwriting, comedian, Observational Humor
“It's amazing how many people I get who are either at home sick, recovering from something, or in the hospital for some reason. New fans are always like, ‘I’ve never seen your show before and I was home recovering from surgery and...you're funny!’ So the more people who get sick, the better for me, i…”— Ellen Degeneres, goodhousekeeping.comTagged: Funny, hospital, Sick, Recovering
“Faith is part of who I am, yes. I was raised Christian Scientist. The most important thing I saw every single week on the wall at Sunday school was the Golden Rule: ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.’ That's what I got out of church and, to me, it's still the way to live. My dad is…”— Ellen Degeneres, goodhousekeeping.comTagged: golden rule, Christian Science, Intelligence, Higher Power, Sunday School
“The world's a scary place, you know? It can be really sad and stressful and negative. I try to counterbalance that. I believe everything in life is energy. If we're destroying our trees and destroying our environment and hurting animals and hurting one another and all that stuff, there's got to be a…”— Ellen Degeneres, goodhousekeeping.comTagged: Sad, Stressful, Negative, Energy, environment