Quotes tagged ‘Dating’

“Oh, what's the point? When I like them, they don't like me, when they like me, I don't like them. Why can't I act with the ones I like the same way I do with the ones I don't like?”

— Larry Charles, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“You see, this is what I do with women. I start out too strong, now I have to become real, that's when it all falls apart. What good is real? They don't want real, they want funny.”

— Peter Mehlman, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“Maybe you don't have to be so funny. I mean, would it kill you not to be so funny all the time? That's all I'm asking. This woman thinks I'm very funny. Now you're gonna be funny, so what am I gonna be? I'm gonna be a short bald guy with glasses who suddenly doesn't seem so funny.”

— Peter Mehlman, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“Well, let me tell you something about George. He is fast. He can run like the wind. And he's strong. I've seen him lift a hundred pounds over his head without even knowing it. And you wouldn't know it to look at him, but George can bait a hook.”

— Elaine Pope, Larry Charles, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

“I mean the problem is that the good ones know they're good. And they know they're in such demand they're just not interested in confining themselves to one person.”

— Elaine Pope, Larry Charles, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com

“A preemptive breakup. This is an incredible idea. I got nothing to lose. We either break up, which she would do anyway, but at least I go out with some dignity. Completely turn the tables. It's absolutely brilliant.”

— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“Lunch is fine at the beginning, then you move on to dinner. You don't move back to lunch. It's like being demoted.”

— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“She thinks I'm a nice guy. Women always think I'm nice, but women don't like nice….Why is nice bad? What kind of sick society we are living in, when nice is bad?”

— Tom Leopold, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“Doing things you don't want to do is how you make a relationship work.”

— Mike O'Malley, Frank Gallagher, William H. Macy, imdb.com

“What do you do at the end of a date when you know you don't want to see this person ever again, for the rest of your life? What do you say? What do you say? No matter what you say, it's a lie. ‘I’ll see you around. See you around. If you're around, and I'm around, I'll see you around that area. You'…”

— Larry Charles, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

“What's brutal about the date is the scrutiny that you put each other through. Because whenever you think about this person in terms of the future, you have to magnify everything about them. You know, like the guy'll be like 'I don't think her eyebrows are even. Could I look at uneven eyebrows for th…”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

“For me to ask a woman out I gotta get into a mental state like the karate guys before they break the bricks.”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“You know, I've been thinking. I cannot envision any circumstances in which I'll ever have the opportunity to have sex again. How's it gonna happen? I just don't see how it could occur.”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“Y'know I think that even if you've had a relationship with someone, or let's say, especially if you've had a relationship with someone and you try to become friends afterwards, it's very difficult. Isn't this? It's hard. Because, you know each other so well, you know all of each other's tricks. It's…”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

“I swear, I have absolutely no idea what women are thinking. I don't get it, OK? I, I, I admit, I, I'm not getting the signals. I am not getting it! Women, they're so subtle, their little...everything they do is subtle...men are not subtle, we are obvious. Women know what men want, men know what men…”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

“The dating world is a world of pressure. Let's face it: a date is a job interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job interviews is there a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it.”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

“I'm not a lesbian! I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian.”

— Larry Charles, Elaine Benes, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, imdb.com

“Don’t date me if you are not ready to fall into an ocean of passion and be drowned with love. When I love, I love fiercely. When I care, I care unconditionally.”

— Mitzi J Hernandez, thoughtcatalog.com

“Money is intrinsic to our sexual politics,” said Scott. “And it seems that no matter how enlightened we’ve become, the desire for men to get the check is an irresistible force deeply ingrained in our culture. It’s like the last vestige of a dated notion of chivalry, being carried out ad hoc by men a…”

— Karley Sciortino, vogue.com

“Look, I’m a feminist or whatever, but I still like it when a guy picks up the check on a date. I understand that in our post-gender, social-justice millennial era, the idea of subscribing to traditional gender roles in a relationship makes you an honorary fascist, and yet, I can’t help getting wet w…”

— Karley Sciortino, vogue.com