“MOM: *drops small piece of cake on floor* MOM: Oh no. ME: I'll eat it. MOM: MAUREEN THE FLOOR IS CONTAMINATED RULE OF NURSING THE FLOOR IS CONTAMINATED, ME: *grabs cake* MOM: *lunges, pins arm to table* ME: *gets hand to mouth* MOM: MAUREEN IT IS CONTAMINATED ME: I die.”— Maureen Johnson, twitter.com
“Even when I was a kid, my imaginary friend would play with the kid across the street. I'd be like, "Hey, so I guess I'll see you later," and he's, like, "Whatever, queer". That's a hate crime!”— Daniel Tosh, amazon.com
“Our breakup broke the record for the most mutual parting of ways in history. Here’s the text-message conversation: Me: Hey . . . should we break up? Canadian: Ya probably. Me: Ok. Canadian: Did you watch Hoarders last night? Me: Ya! I can’t believe that woman ate her dead dog thinking it was jerky.…”— Shane Dawson, amazon.com
“Night air, good conversation, and a sky full of stars can heal almost any wound.”— Beau Taplin, afadthatlastsforever.tumblr.com
“I want deeper connections with the people around me. I need to reach out more. Because not everyone leaves. Sometimes if you reach out, the person you’re trying to reach will be right there waiting.”— Susane Colasanti, amazon.com
“That night, we talked the way old friends do, with candor and ease. We were still deep in conversation when the sun announced its arrival with an astonishing flourish of orange and pink.”— Lang Leav, amazon.com
“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”— Lady Dorothy Nevill, en.wikipedia.org
“I always thought "What pen do you use?" was the way artists make conversation, like "Hey, got a light?”— School of Night, twitter.com
“Words do have power. Names have power. Words are events, they do things, change things. They transform both speaker and hearer; they feed energy back and forth and amplify it. They feed understanding or emotion back and forth and amplify it.”— Ursula K. Le Guin, amazon.com
“If they turn the subject to kissing, they're giving you a big hint that they're hoping you turn to kissing, too.”— Holly Ashworth, teenadvice.about.com
“Learn a language. If you’re both sitting at the computer at a loss for new conversation topics, you might as well open a language learning program and go through it together, lesson by lesson.”— Escape Normal, escapenormal.com
“Prayer is based on the remote possibility that someone is actually listening; but so is a lot of conversation. If the former seems far-fetched, consider the latter: even if someone is listening to your story, and really hearing, that person will disappear from existence in the blink of a cosmic eye,…”— Jennifer Michael Hecht, amazon.com
“After the conversation has gone on for a while, say how much you enjoy talking with him/her and say you hope the two of you can meet again at a later date.”— The Love Queen, thelovequeen.com
“Try to keep the conversation lighthearted — after all, most of us seem more sexual attractive when we’re laughing and smiling than when we’re scowling.”— The Love Queen, thelovequeen.com
“Keep the conversation short. Even if it’s going really well, exit early. You will leave on a high note and create a sense of urgency. This will leave her intrigued and wanting a bit more of you.”— Rocky Merchant, elitedaily.com