Quotes tagged ‘humor’

“Lina: Jane, I didn't do it. Jane: So you weren't drinking at work. Lina: Oh, of course I was drinking at work. But ever since they put in the new rules, I bring my own booze.”

— Chantelle M. Wells, Jane Villanueva, Gina Rodriguez, imdb.com

“Jane: You got married? By a Cher impersonator? Narrator: Oh if I could turn back time.”

— Jennie Snyder Urman, Jane Villanueva, Gina Rodriguez, imdb.com

“There are many Jesus Christs. There is only one Jane.”

— Josh Reims, Jennie Snyder Urman, Rogelio De La Vega, Jaime Camil, imdb.com

“Lina: Frankie heard cuts are coming. Will you ask Rafael if it's true and who's getting fired? Jane: Oh, I don't think that's a good idea. Lina: Oh, please, Jane? I need this job. I drink for free and it's so close to my gym. Jane: Yeah, I don't think I can use that argument with Rafael.”

— Meredith Averill, Christopher Oscar Pena, Jane Villanueva, Gina Rodriguez, imdb.com

“Jane: Do not engage with their mom. Be the bigger person. Lina: That's so not her style. Xiomara: It is too my style. Narrator: It was definitely not her style.”

— Paul Sciarrotta, Xiomara Villanueva, Andrea Navedo, imdb.com

“Okay, I left word with the UN ambassador and Gloria Estefan. One of them will stop the deportation. Most probably Gloria Estefan.”

— Meredith Averill, Christopher Oscar Pena, Rogelio De La Vega, Jaime Camil, imdb.com

“Never underestimate a parent's ability to mortify his child.”

— John Stephens, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

“Alex: That's sweet. It's pathetic but sweet. Seth: Yeah, that's my niche. Pathetic and sweet.”

— Stephanie Savage, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

“I have my secret recipe: takeout.”

— Josh Schwartz, Kirsten Cohen, Kelly Rowan, imdb.com

“Marissa: I think we should spend this whole summer just being normal. Ryan: We're not gonna hold Seth to that, are we? Marissa: No. That would be impossible.”

— Josh Schwartz, Marissa Cooper, Mischa Barton, imdb.com

“Kirsten: Is everything okay? Ryan: Yeah, it's fine. Theresa: I'm pregnant. Seth: Well, except for that.”

— Josh Schwartz, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

“Seth: So what's the GP, RA? Ryan: I have no idea what you just said. Seth: Game plan, Ryan Atwood. Ryan: You're just using initials now? Seth: Yeah. They save time. Ryan: Well, not if you have to translate. Seth: GP. Ryan: Game Plan? Seth: Good Point.”

— Allan Heinberg, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

“Summer: The other night, when we... had sex... you weren't the only virgin in the room. Seth: There was someone else in the room? Like, filming us? Summer: Me, jackass.”

— Josh Schwartz, Summer Roberts, Rachel Bilson, imdb.com

“Kirsten: She looks good. Her spirits are high. Caleb: She's high? Kirsten: No, her spirit. Her mood. She's up. Caleb: So, she's on uppers?”

— Erica Messer, Debra J. Fisher, Kirsten Cohen, Kelly Rowan, imdb.com

“Summer: I'm busy. Studying. Naked. Seth: Is that supposed to keep me away? Summer: Cohen? You're at my house! Seth: And you're dressed. I wonder who's more disappointed.”

— Josh Schwartz, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

“Marissa: Have we become one of those couples? Ryan: Who lose all their friends? Marissa: And can't do anything without each other? Ryan: I don't think so. You think so? Marissa: I gotta go. Ryan: Yeah. And I've got the... Marissa: Walk me? Ryan: I'll walk you.”

— Melissa Rosenberg, Marissa Cooper, Mischa Barton, imdb.com

“Seth: How was the mall? Ryan: Eh... Weird. Seth: Yes. You've really painted a picture for me. I feel like I was there.”

— Stephanie Savage, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

“Hailey: You guys are, like... married. Kirsten: Yeah, that was the idea. When we had our wedding. Hailey: No, I mean... deeply, deeply married.”

— Josh Schwartz, Kirsten Cohen, Kelly Rowan, imdb.com

“Ryan: You'd better pray for a Chrimukkah miracle. Seth: I've got Jesus and Moses on my side, man.”

— Stephanie Savage, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

“Luke: Maybe I can just blow the whole thing off, go hit the beach, give everybody time to get it out of their systems. Ryan: It doesn't work like that. It's been months and I'm still the kid from Chino that burned a house down. Marissa: And I'm still the girl who tried to kill herself in Mexico. Set…”

— Allan Heinberg, Josh Schwartz, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com