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Quotes tagged ‘humor’

(1220 total)

Seth: Ryan, that's extremely minty of you. I didn't even know they had musicals in Chino. I didn't even know they had dancing, or... laughter. Ryan: That's because no one who lived there is as funny as you. Seth: So, we finally agree I'm the funny one. Well, look at that! Looks like we all learned s…

— Brian Oh, Josh Schwartz, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

Do you know what I dream about when I dream about Thanksgiving, which is a lot? I dream that I eat so much deliciousness that all the blood rushes to my stomach and I pass out right at the table. Please do not deny me that.

— Brian Oh, Josh Schwartz, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

Seth: What? It’s Anna. I could have said "pop a squat" in front of her if I wanted to. Ryan: Sometimes I think you talk just to make sounds. Seth: Sometimes I do.

— Allan Heinberg, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

Seth: Summer, can I walk you to class? Summer: I can walk myself. Seth: Great, then you can walk me, too.

— Allan Heinberg, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

Sailing is, like, so not the fastest way to get anywhere.

— Erica Messer, Debra J. Fisher, Summer Roberts, Rachel Bilson, imdb.com

Anna: Oh, so insulting him counts as conversation? Seth: Oh, well. If it doesn't, we've never spoken.

— Erica Messer, Debra J. Fisher, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

Seth: Not now, Mom. I'm studying naked. Summer: Eww. Seth: Summer? Summer: What kind of family do you have, Cohen? Seth: The kind where mothers and sons always wear clothing. Even in the shower.

— Melissa Rosenberg, Allan Heinberg, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

Seth: What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. Ryan: What happens in Mexico? Seth: I don't know, because it stays there. That's why we must go!

— Josh Schwartz, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

Anna: Could you be any more pathetic? A lone figure sitting on the floor, wondering if he's gonna be lonely for the rest of his life. Seth: Hey, your sensitivity — it's really, uh, nonexistent. Anna: You know what your problem is? You're not a man. Seth: Again, not appreciating the brutal honesty.

— Allan Heinberg, Josh Schwartz, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

Jimmy: So, how's your mother? Seth: Ahh, just... married.

— Jane Espenson, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

Sherry: Oh, I love making people laugh. To me, humor is like medicine! Niles: I guess we're in the placebo group.

— Joe Keenan, Niles Crane, David Hyde Pierce, imdb.com

It’s not possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor.

— Mark Richard, Lauren Signorino, Victor Strand, Colman Domingo, imdb.com

Ash's Hand: Kelly, when you were in junior high school, you told me you busted a stained glass window of a church. Kelly Maxwell: By accident. Ash's Hand: Then you punched a nun in the face. Kelly Maxwell: She was being so dramatic about that stained glass, and she hit me first.

— Rob Wright, Kelly Maxwell, Dana DeLorenzo, imdb.com

Ash: It's good to be back. Pablo: How does it feel? Ash: Groovy.

— Sam Raimi, Tom Spezialy, Ivan Raimi, Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams, Bruce Campbell, imdb.com

You can't really go wrong with this hummus and you always know what you're going to get, just like the sensible and simple Taurus.

— Spoon U, teenvogue.com

Shadow: Best thing, only good thing about being in prison is the relief. You don't worry if they're going to get you when they already got you. Tomorrow can't do anything today hasn't already managed. Low Key: Even better with a death sentence. Bang. Worst has already happened. You get a few days to…

— Bryan Fuller, Michael Green, Shadow Moon, Ricky Whittle, imdb.com

Sabrina: Can you distract a room full of poets? Hilda: Easy. Salem: With your clothes on? Hilda: Oh.

— Dan Berendsen, Hilda Spellman, Caroline Rhea, imdb.com

4-year-old: I'm not going to be 4 forever. Me: I know. 4: I'm going back to 3.

— James Breakwell, twitter.com

My kids were fighting over whether an imaginary cake was strawberry or chocolate. I told them to just make two imaginary cakes. They said they didn't have enough ingredients.

— James Breakwell, twitter.com

Me: Did you know people only use half their brains? 6-year-old: Maybe boys.

— James Breakwell, twitter.com

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