Watch a sunrise at least once a day.
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Quotes tagged ‘humor’
Marry someone who looks sexy while disappointed.
You can tell a lot about a person from his biography.
If you love something, set it free. Unless it's a tiger.
When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life'll be all like 'what?!'
I’ve always said that if my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I’ve succeeded as a dad.
So Laura’s trying to test me? Bring it on. I’ve been tested my entire life. They could never find anything.
Always keep the rhythm in your feet and a little party in your shoulders.
It’s so painful to have loved someone once and then never again. Sometimes you’ll wish it never happened just so you didn’t know how good it felt. Then you remember that quote ‘It’s better to have loved and lost than to have ever loved at all’ and you’re like, ‘okay, fine.'
I don't listen to people if they don't talk about me.
I’ll take a picture but please don’t make me try to have a conversation with you or make my sober face at this point.
Great leaders only need three hours of sleep.
Have a little faith, and if that doesn't work, have a lot of mimosas.
Whoever said that money doesn’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.
My rule is no dairy in front of company.
I know I look great. My house has mirrors.
In case you were wondering, WebMD has no cures for 'My dog just dragged her butt across my whole backyard & made eye contact w/ me.'
Take a selfie it'll last long-wait delete that one my eyebrows look fat take another.
I bet Jesus would have instagrammed a lot of pics of wine.
Joseph: 'You're gorgeous when you blush. Like a wild flower.' Georgette: 'It's my dyspepsia.'