“Q: Why did God invent lawyers? A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.”— Anonymous, iciclesoftware.com
“Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull? A: Lipstick.”— Anonymous, iciclesoftware.com
“Q: What’s black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A: A doberman pinscher.”— Anonymous, paralegaledu.org
“Q: Why does the bar association code of ethics prevent sex between lawyers and their clients? A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.”— Anonymous, paralegaledu.org
“Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? A: One is a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.”— Anonymous, paralegaledu.org
“Q: What’s the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer riding a motorcycle? A: The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.”— Anonymous, paralegaledu.org
“Q: How many lawyer jokes are in existence? A: Only three. All the rest are true stories.”— Anonymous, lawyersweekly.com.au
“Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.”— Anonymous, lawyersweekly.com.au
“What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? An offer you can’t understand.”— Ann Cherkis, Jimmy McGill, Bob Odenkirk, imdb.com
“What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 60? “Your Honor.””— Ann Cherkis, Jimmy McGill, Bob Odenkirk, imdb.com
“What’s the difference between a tick and a lawyer? The tick falls off when you’re dead!”— Ann Cherkis, Jimmy McGill, Bob Odenkirk, imdb.com
“Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt? Because deep down, they’re really good people.”— Ann Cherkis, Jimmy McGill, Bob Odenkirk, imdb.com
“What’s the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle? The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.”— Ann Cherkis, Jimmy McGill, Bob Odenkirk, imdb.com