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Quotes tagged ‘masturbating’

(10 total)

Andrew: What, like a show about a bunch of kids masturbating? Nick: Isn't that technically child pornography? Maurice: Holy shit, I hope not! I mean, maybe if it's animated, we could get away with it. Right?

— Gil Ozeri, Maurice "Maury" Hormone Monster, Nick Kroll, imdb.com

Carolyn Burnham: What are you doing? Lester Burnham: Nothing. Carolyn Burnham: You were masturbating! Lester Burnham: I was not. Carolyn Burnham: Yes you were! Lester Burnham: Oh, all right! So shoot me, I was whacking off! That's right, I was choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying…

— Alan Ball, Carolyn Burnham, Annette Bening, imdb.com

Sitting around, smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos and masturbating do not constitute ‘plans.’

— Sam Catlin, Walter White, Bryan Cranston, imdb.com

Masturbating is important, you know? You appreciate it more when you’re a parent. I look forward to masturbating more than sex. You know why? ‘Cause I know I’m gonna treat me right.

— Tom Segura, scrapsfromtheloft.com

I'm texting you with one hand, and my other hand is busy doing something else.

— Adriana, badgirlsbible.com

Your orgasms from masturbating are becoming weak and depressing. Is it possible to fake an orgasm while jacking off? Don’t stick around to find out!

— Ryan O'Connell, thoughtcatalog.com

Masturbating while reading The Joy of Sex is frowned upon by Librarians. I know this now.

— The Cuntess, twitter.com

Call him into the bedroom, so he can catch you masturbating. It’ll be an instant turn-on for him.

— Holly Riordan, thoughtcatalog.com

Smoking marijuana, eating cheetos, and masturbating do not constitute plans in my book.

— Sam Catlin, Walter White, amazon.com

And what's stopping these people from masturbating before they get in their car? Maybe it's time they got their own place, no?

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, twitter.com

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