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Maurice "Maury" Hormone Monster

11 quotes

All Cartoon Network (3)Cartoon Shows (3)fondly (1)Beautiful (1)embarrassing (1)Going For It! (1)Prince (1)Goodnight (1)ducks (1)tri-state area (1)animated (1)Scientology (1)bathroom (1)Sweetheart (1)Origin Of Life Earth (1)

From “The Head Push”

Hey man I got a medical emergency so I gotta bounce. Jack off twice and page me in the morning.

Cartoon Shows Cartoon Network

Maurice: I know I'm a broken record with this but mercury is in retrograde. Andrew: Enough with the astrology. Maurice: Spoken like a two-faced fuckin' Gemini.

Cartoon Shows Cartoon Network

Jay: How else are men supposed to get blowjobs? Maurice: You lean your head back, arch your crotch in the air and say, 'Dinner is served.'

Cartoon Shows Cartoon Network

From “Ejaculation”

Good night, you prince of Westchester, you king of the tri-state area.

Prince tri-state area Goodnight

Andrew Glouberman: I'm coming, I'm coming. Hormone Monster: Not yet, that's why we gotta get to the bathroom, Sweetheart!

coming Sweetheart bathroom

From “Everybody Bleeds”

No! Oh, fuck a duck. I'm gonna go? I'm gonna go... fuck a duck.

ducks

From “Girls Are Horny Too”

Dickarus is flying too close to the sun.

Going For It!

From “Requiem for a Wet Dream”

Andrew: So, life started because a giant alien had sex with the Earth? I don't know. That sounds like Scientology. Maury: Yup, of everyone they got the closest.

Scientology Origin Of Life Earth Alien Sex

From “The Pornscape”

Andrew: What, like a show about a bunch of kids masturbating? Nick: Isn't that technically child pornography? Maurice: Holy shit, I hope not! I mean, maybe if it's animated, we could get away with it. Right?

kids masturbating animated

Look, I know this all seems embarrassing right now but maybe one day, you'll look back on this time fondly and perhaps even make something beautiful out of it.

embarrassing fondly Beautiful

From “What Is It About Boobs?”

Andrew, I think the mother and the sister are about to fuck.

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