“God, you must have been the worst fourth grader ever.”Tagged: worst, fourth grader, upset, tattle tale, Sassy
“Detectives, our monthly crime statistics are due. I want paperwork on all your closed cases by tomorrow. Scully, you can just write 'I didn't close any' on a piece of paper.”Tagged: Detectives, monthly crime, Statistics, paperwork, Called Out
“Jake: Hello good sir, I would like your finest bottle of wine, please. Clerk: That will be $1,600. Jake: Great, I'd like your $8-Est bottle of wine, please.”Tagged: finest bottle, Wine, Money, cost
“Boyle: I bet it's really fancy. Like Beauty and the Beast fancy. Jake: No, it's probably just an empty white cube, with a USB port in it for him to plug his finger in when he's on sleep mode.”Tagged: beauty and the beast, fancy, USB, cubicle, plug
“I crave emotional intimacy. Because my parents have a no-touch policy with me. So I don't really feel human contact at all.”Tagged: No-Touch Policy
“Andrew: What, like a show about a bunch of kids masturbating? Nick: Isn't that technically child pornography? Maurice: Holy shit, I hope not! I mean, maybe if it's animated, we could get away with it. Right?”Tagged: kids, masturbating, animated
“Look, I know this all seems embarrassing right now but maybe one day, you'll look back on this time fondly and perhaps even make something beautiful out of it.”Tagged: embarrassing, fondly, Beautiful
“I came here to do two things. Eat some Pringles and get my body rocked.”Tagged: goal, Pringles, Body Rock
“You know, Elliot, I've always acted like your softness was weakness, but now I'm beginning to understand your vulnerability is actually strength.”Tagged: Weakness, Vulnerable, strength