Quotes tagged ‘Moses’

“I am not a kid, for your information. I am 60 years old. I remember when Moses was president.”

— Mark Levin, Andrew Goldberg, Jennifer Flackett, Nick Kroll, Jessi Glaser (voice), Jessi Klein, imdb.com

“Can't we just like kick this old school? You know, like I stick the baby in a basket, send it your way, like Moses and the reeds?”

— Diablo Cody, Juno MacGuff, Ellen Page, imdb.com

“Ryan: You'd better pray for a Chrimukkah miracle. Seth: I've got Jesus and Moses on my side, man.”

— Stephanie Savage, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

“Murphy Brown: At least tonight wasn't a total loss, we got to hear that great 'high sea' joke! I'm telling you, if Moses had had material like that, the Pharaoh woulda let your people go a hell of a lot sooner. Miles Silverberg: Yeah, like I'm going to take comedy tips from a shiksa. Jim Dial: I can…”

— Steven Peterman, Gary Dontzig, Korby Siamis, Miles Silverberg, Grant Shaud, imdb.com

“I guarantee you that Moses was a picker. You wander through the desert for forty years with that dry air. You telling me you're not going to have occasion to clean house a little bit?”

— Larry David, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

“I always felt Moses freed the Jews, Lincoln freed the slaves, and I wanted to free all the neurotics. And I realized in the process that I've helped millions of people get through puberty. I think that's a great accomplishment.”

— Larry Flynt, cnn.com

“So Moses comes down from Mt. Sinai with two tablets of stone in his hands and speaks to his people: "Okay folks, I got some goods news and some bad news. Good news first: I got him down to ten. The bad news: Adultery is still in."”

— nostromo99, reddit.com

“A voice from the burning bush commanded Moses to lead his people out of Egypt, but Moses was ‘slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.’ When the time came to inform the Israelites of God’s command, Moses’ brother, Aaron, ‘spake all the words that the Lord had spoken unto Moses.’ I always imagine Moses…”

— David Shields, amazon.com