50 Of The Funniest Blonde Jokes Of All Time
50 quotes
Some of the best blonde jokes in existence!
“A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family…”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“Two blondes are stuck in a burning apartment on the 30th floor on the balcony. They're both screaming for help one after another, to no avail... Then one of the blondes says i don't think anyone can hear us.. maybe if we scream together, we'll be louder and we'll get saved! They both start yelling,…”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“A blonde a brunette and a redhead are on an elevator when a good looking man gets on. He gets off at the next floor. Having noticed his dandruff, the redhead says to the brunette, 'He could use some head and shoulders.' Looking confused, the blonde asks, 'How do you give a guy shoulders?'”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on an island a moderate distance from shore. The brunette tries to swim back, gets tired a quarter of the way there and heads back to the island. The redhead tries to swim back, gets tired a third of the way there and also heads back. The blonde gets hal…”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“Blonde, brunette, and redhead in the gyno's office. All three are pregnant. The brunette says she's sure she's having a boy, because when she got pregnant her husband was on top. The redhead says in that case, she figures she's having a girl, because when she got pregnant she was on top. The blonde…”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“Two blondes are walking through the woods and come across some tracks. Blonde #1: Awww how cute, deer tracks. Blonde #2: Those are wolf tracks stupid! Blonde #1: NO, my dad taught me about this, These are deer tracks! They keep arguing and 20 minutes later they get hit by a train.”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. 'Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?' The blonde…”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“A blonde is on vacation and runs out of money. She wants to write an e-mail to her mother so that her mother can send her some. She goes to an internet café and goes up to the guy at the desk. She says: 'I'm sorry, but I'm broke and I really need to contact my mother. Is there any way I could do tha…”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“On a flight to L.A., a blonde leaves her seat in coach and goes and sits in first class. When the stewardess tells her she has to return to her seat, the blonde says 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm staying right here until we reach L.A.'. The stewardess talks to the flight crew, so the co-pilot…”
— Reddit, reddit.com
“A brunette comes home one day and saw her blonde roommate hanging from the ceiling by her waist. The brunette said 'What are you doing?' The blonde replies 'Hanging myself, I'm done with life, and want to die.' The brunette says back 'Wouldn't you put the rope around your neck?' The blonde replies '…”
— Reddit, reddit.com