27 Absurd Lemony Snicket Quotes On How Unfortunate Life Can Be

27 quotes

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Fate

“Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blear…”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Lonely, Alone, Depression

“People aren’t either wicked or noble. They’re like chef’s salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, wicked, noble, Good, Evil

“If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, careless, talking, Writing

“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby—awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, careless, Love, Parenting

“Well-read people are less likely to be evil.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Reading, Books, Evil

“Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Escape, Books

“The three siblings were not born yesterday. Neither were you, unless of course I am wrong, in which case, welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events

“They didn’t understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean it isn’t so.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Understanding, Life

“I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Love

“It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom…”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Death, Loved Ones, Grief, Shock

“When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down around you.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, trouble, Reading, Books

“Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Trust, Books, Literature

“The best way to keep a secret is to tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you are kidding.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Secret, Kidding

“Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch or you might simply get covered in sap and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors where it is harder to get a spl…”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Trust

“Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Hope For The Best, strange

“Happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Happiness, Sadness

“There is a kind of crying I hope you have not experienced, and it is not just crying about something terrible that has happened, but a crying for all of the terrible things that have happened, not just to you but to everyone you know and to everyone you don’t know and even the people you don’t want…”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Sadness, Depression, Crying, Tears

“I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Love

“It is likely I will die next to a pile of things I was meaning to read.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Reading, Books

“At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Unfriendly, The World, humanity, Life Journey

“Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events

“If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Allergies, cats, Funny, humor

“Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, trapped, elevator

“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Family, Fighting, Siblings

“Sometimes the things you’ve lost can be found again in unexpected places.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, lost, Loss, unexpected

“If we wait until we're ready we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives. Let's go.”

— Lemony Snicket, amazon.com

Tagged: Series Of Unfortunate Events, Waiting, Life