Quotes From The Office Guaranteed To Make You Still Laugh

“Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.”

— Michael, amazon.com

“The worst thing about prison were the Dementors.”

— Michael, amazon.com

“Why be a dad when you can be a fun uncle ? I've never heard of anyone rebelling against their fun uncle.”

— Michael, amazon.com

“Can I just say that of all the idiots in all the idiot villages in all the idiot worlds, you stand alone, my friend.”

— Michael, amazon.com

“By the end of the fourth grade, the lunch lady was actually the person I hung out with the most.”

— Michael, amazon.com

“Michael: The Jamaicans don't have a word for. Jim: Yup It's English”

— Michael And Jim, amazon.com

“Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.”

— Michael, amazon.com

“One thing you need to know about me, I don't quit, until something tears or pops.”

— Dwight, amazon.com

“Pam: 'I could give a shit about your happiness. Stop dating my mother!' Michael: 'You know what, I'm gonna start dating her even harder!'”

— Michael And Pam, amazon.com

“I wonder what people like about my? Probably my jugs.”

— Phyllis, amazon.com

“It is exactly 12:23. The exact moment you emerged my your mothers vaginal canal.”

— Dwight, amazon.com

“The only problem is when I try to make a taco, I get too excited.”

— Kevin, amazon.com

“I don't need the woods, I have a nice wood desk. And I don't need fresh air, I have the freshest air around, A.C.”

— Michael, amazon.com

“Campus. Brings me back to so many memories I would have made.”

— Michael, amazon.com

“Jim: "Question: What kind of bear is best?" Dwight: "That's a ridiculous question." Jim: "False. Black bear.”

— Jim And Dwight, amazon.com

“Whenever i'm about to do something, I think. 'Would an idiot do that? And if they would, I do not do that thing.”

— Dwight, amazon.com

“There's too many people on this earth, we need a new plague.”

— Dwight, amazon.com

“Pam would you please tell Darryl this is not a women's suit.”

— Michael, amazon.com

“Dwight you ignorant slut.”

— Michael, amazon.com

“When I see someone smile at me all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.”

— Dwight, amazon.com

“I've been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower.”

— Creed, amazon.com

“I have egg in my croc.”

— Michael, amazon.com

“What's a two way petting zoo? Jim: You pet the animals they pet you back.”

— Jim, amazon.com

“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”

— Michael, amazon.com

“Sometimes I start a sentence and don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.”

— Michael, amazon.com