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I shall look forward personally to exterminating you, Mr. Bond.

— Roald Dahl, Ernst Stavro Blofeld, Donald Pleasence, You Only Live Twice

[Coded message to headquarters] Little Nelly got a hot reception. Four big shots made improper advances toward her, but she defended her honor with great success.

— Roald Dahl, James Bond, Sean Connery, You Only Live Twice

Sexual Harassment

[Bond is about to have his chest waxed so he can pass for Japanese] Why don't you just dye the parts that show?

— Roald Dahl, James Bond, Sean Connery, You Only Live Twice

hairy chests Racial Differences

John: Well, in my humble opinion, we've become involved in Einstein's time space continuum theory. George: Oh, right. John: Relatively speaking, that is.

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Himself, John Lennon, Yellow Submarine

Albert Einstein Relativity

John: Break the glass. George: We can't! Paul: It's Beatle-proof. John: Nothing is Beatle-proof!

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Himself, John Lennon, Yellow Submarine

beatle-proof

A thing of beauty; destroy it forever!

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Chief Blue Meanie/George/Ringo (voice), Paul Angelis, Yellow Submarine

beauty Destroy

Tiger Tanaka: It can save your life, this cigarette. James Bond: You sound like a commercial.

— Roald Dahl, James Bond, Sean Connery, You Only Live Twice

cigarette commercials

John: Well, in my humble opinion, we've become involved in Einstein's time space continuum theory. George: Oh, right. John: Relatively speaking, that is.

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Himself, John Lennon, Yellow Submarine

Albert Einstein Relativity

John: Well, in my humble opinion, we've become involved in Einstein's time space continuum theory. George: Oh, right. John: Relatively speaking, that is.

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Himself, John Lennon, Yellow Submarine

Albert Einstein Relativity

Hee, hee hee hee hee! Oh, I haven't laughed so much since Pompeii.

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Chief Blue Meanie/George/Ringo (voice), Paul Angelis, Yellow Submarine

Sadism schadenfreude pompeii

Old Fred: Hey, what would your friends be doing here? Ringo: Displaying. Old Fred: Displaying what? Ringo: Dis-playing around.

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Himself, Ringo Starr, Yellow Submarine

Puns

I am the ego man, goo goo g'joob.

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Himself, John Lennon, Yellow Submarine

egg man ego man i am the walrus

Once upon a time, or maybe twice, there was an unearthly paradise called Pepperland. 80,000 leagues beneath the sea it lay, or lie. I'm not too sure.

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Narrator, Paul Angelis, Yellow Submarine

Pepperland Paradise

Liverpool can be a lonely place on a Saturday night, and this is only Thursday morning.

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Himself, Ringo Starr, Yellow Submarine

Liverpool Lonely saturday night

If I spoke prose you'd all find out / I don't know what I talk about.

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Jeremy Hilary Boob, Ph.D. - Nowhere Man/Lord Mayor/Max (voice), Dick Emery, Yellow Submarine

Prose Poetry Clueless

Ringo: Hey, I wonder what'll happen if I pull this lever. Old Fred: Oh, you mustn't do that now. Ringo: Can't help it. I'm a born 'Liver-pooler.'

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Himself, Ringo Starr, Yellow Submarine

lever Pun Liverpool

[singing] When I get older losing my hair many years from now. Will you still be sending me a valentine, birthday greetings, bottle of wine? If I'd been out till quarter to three would you lock the door? Will you still need me, will you still feed me When I'm Sixty Four?

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Himself, Paul McCartney, Yellow Submarine

when i'm 64 valentines losing my hair

John: It's blue glass. Ringo: Must be from Kentucky.

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Himself, Ringo Starr, Yellow Submarine

blue glass bluegrass Kentucky Puns

George: Hey! There's a Cyclops! Paul: Can't be. It's got two eyes. John: Must be a 'bicycle-ops' then. Ringo: There's another one. John: A whole ‘cyclopedia'!

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Himself, Ringo Starr, Yellow Submarine

Cyclops Puns

Be careful in the world of men, Diana. They do not deserve you. You have been my greatest love. Today, you are my greatest sorrow.

— Geoff Johns, Allan Heinberg, Zack Snyder, Jason Fuchs, Steve Trevor, Chris Pine, Wonder Woman

Misandry Men Deserve Love Sorrow

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