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Quotes tagged ‘Pun’

(27 total)

Hold on, are you a sheep named Usher? Because you got it, you got it 'baaahd.'

— Nick Kroll, Emmy the Lovebug (voice), Aidy Bryant, imdb.com

You can't handle the Tooth! And that's the Tooth, the whole Tooth and nothing but the Tooth! I pledge allegiance to the Tooth.

— Randi Mayem Singer, Lowell Ganz, Babaloo Mandel, Jennifer Ventimilia, Joshua Sternin, Jim Piddock, Derek Thompson / Tooth Fairy, Dwayne Johnson, imdb.com

Ringo: Hey, I wonder what'll happen if I pull this lever. Old Fred: Oh, you mustn't do that now. Ringo: Can't help it. I'm a born 'Liver-pooler.'

— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Himself, Ringo Starr, imdb.com

I trust you had a pleasant 'fright'!

— Richard Maibaum, Michael G. Wilson, Blofeld, John Hollis, imdb.com

Kirsten: She looks good. Her spirits are high. Caleb: She's high? Kirsten: No, her spirit. Her mood. She's up. Caleb: So, she's on uppers?

— Erica Messer, Debra J. Fisher, Kirsten Cohen, Kelly Rowan, imdb.com

Sabrina: Hey, Roxie, what's your family doing for Christmas? Roxie: The usual. We put up an aluminum tree, get take-out from Taco Bell, and then I watch my Dad and step-mom exchange cartons of Winston Lights. Morgan: Your family exchanges cigarettes? Roxie: Hey, it's just not Christmas without a vis…

— Jon Vandergriff, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

Zelda: So, I hear things are heating up between you and Derek. Sabrina: Well, let's just say we could melt a glacier.

— Barry Vigon, Tom Walla, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

Wait a minute. How are you gonna quit magic? Go to Witch Watchers?

— Adam Hamburger, David Hamburger, Harvey Kinkle, Nate Richert, imdb.com

So, you're in the nuclear biz? I once dated a guy named Adam, but then we split!

— Andrew Borakove, Bill Rosenthal, Morgan Cavanaugh, Elisa Donovan, imdb.com

Knock! Knock! Anybody homo?

— Bill Wrubel, imdb.com

'Mota' spelled backwards is 'atom'...and that's where he hit it, right at 'im'!

— Harry Caray, en.wikipedia.org

Phoebe: Hey, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J'. Coincidence? Chandler: Hey, that's 'joincidence' with a 'C'.

— Jeff Astroff, Mike Sikowitz, Phoebe Buffay, Lisa Kudrow, imdb.com

Kate Callahan: So let me get this straight: we're saying that there is a serial killer inside the cult? David Rossi: Talk about a needle in a needle stack!

— Breen Frazier, imdb.com

The internet is a great way to get on the net.

— Bob Dole, amazon.com

How does NASA organize a party? They planet.

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

I may not be perfect, but Jesus thinks I’m to die for.

— Unknown, tcat.tc

The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

"I gotta have a swamp too. Gotta have a swamp. Either a Swamp, our a marsh full of marshmallows. MARSHmallows"

— Dane Cook, genius.com

What did one penny say to the other? "Money puns are priceless"

— False1512, reddit.com

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.

— The_pinto_mobile, reddit.com

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