Andrew Glouberman

9 quotes

“Missy: Oh, uh... don't worry, I won't mons push you this time. Andrew: You can mons push me all you want.”

“I guess I should go to school, even though there's no porn there.”

“Read the tea leaves, honey!”

“You're getting your hair pubed?”

“My whole body is tense, like Joe Biden is whispering a dirty joke in my ear.”

“I gotta withhold my seed for the safety of mankind.”

“I mean, sure, normally I'd go home and jerk off, eat a giant page of Doritos, fall asleep on the floor, fart myself awake, and go down to dinner.”

“This is capitalism. You reap what you sow.”

“I am scared and aroused, the chocolate and peanut butter of feelings.”