I am a loner, a crazy, wide-eyed loner on a doomed mission to Venus to battle with the three-headed megabeast, but on the way I caught cornflakes disease.
Catalog
Anthony Fingleton
You see when something’s not working right, the best thing to do is tear it apart to make it better.
Oh, great. Now I’m stuck between two complete utter girls.
I don’t love you because love is for girls and girls are disgusting.
Fred: [pulls Elizabeth toward the stairs] Come on! Elizabeth: Where are we going? Fred: Playtime! [slides down the bannister] Fred: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! [he slaps straight into the newel post at the bottom] Elizabeth: [in pain] Ahhh! Oooooh! WHO PUT THAT THERE?
Elizabeth: [to Polly] I’m not afraid of you! Fred: Finally, the magic words!
Look, you’ve got you now. You don’t need me.
Just kiss me, and say Drop Dead Fred...now.
Elizabeth: Go away. Fred: Go away? Why do you want me to go away? Fine! Say the magic words and I’ll piss off. Elizabeth: Piss off! Fred: Ha! I lied—those weren’t the magic words. Polly: What did you say? Fred: She told you to piss off.
Fred: Boo! Elizabeth: Ahhh! Fred: Hello, Snotface! Yuck! What happened to you? Look at you. You’re all older. You’re even uglier. Uch. I’m sorry. I’m gonna have to be sick all over you immediately. Lie down. [Pushes Elizabeth down on the bed] Fred: Hang on. Where’s all the dolls? Elizabeth:…
It takes more than a fire truck to stop Drop Dead Fred.
Hello, snotface. Yuck what happened to you? You’re all older, you’re even uglier! Look, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to be sick all over you, immediately. Lie down.
Fred: [Looking up Polly’s skirt] Wow. [Looks at Elizabeth and points up] Fred: Cobwebs.
Fred: [sitting inside the refrigerator...about Charles] Snotface, he’s the wrong man for you. Elizabeth: I don’t want to hear it. Fred: You’re not happy. [Elizabeth closes the fridge door] Elizabeth: Yes, I am. Fred: [crawling from underneath a counter] Well, if you’re so happy, then why I am still…
Charles: Does this Fred play rough? Elizabeth: Only with me. Charles: Jesus.
Fred: Well, why don’t we harpoon Charles straight through the head, drag him back to the apartment, and hit him with a hammer until he agrees to come back? Elizabeth: Harpoon him through the head. That won’t work, Fred. Fred: Why not? How many times have you tried it?
Fred: Well, why don’t we harpoon Charles straight through the head, drag him back to the apartment, and hit him with a hammer until he agrees to come back? Elizabeth: Harpoon him through the head. That won’t work, Fred. Fred: Why not? How many times have you tried it?
Fred: I can’t believe we left the party so soon. And there was so much wine to spit around the place. Elizabeth: I got upset. Fred: ‘I got upset.’ God, you’re so stupid. You never leave a party ‘til the very very end. Elizabeth: Oh, really? Fred: Yeah, really. Elizabeth: Well, what about Cinderella?…