“I think the best part of a relationship is when you're sick. And the best part of being sick is when you're in a relationship. And if I was to get married, you know all those vows; for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, all I need is the sickness. That, to me, is the most important one.…”Tagged: Marriage, Marriage Vows, sickness, Loyalty, Relationships
“Can you die from an odor? I mean, like if you were locked in a vomitorium for two weeks, could you actually die from the odor?”Tagged: odor, Smells, Vomitorium, Death
“So I'm sitting there with Woody and I say, I turn to him and I go, ‘Boy, these pretzels are making me thirsty.’”Tagged: Woody Allen
“See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to HOLD the reservation and that's really the most important part of the reservation—the holding. Anybody can just take them.”Tagged: Auto Reservations, Keeping Reservations, Holding Reservations, Taking Reservations
“Oh, hey, listen, by the way, have you seen a tall...lanky...doofus with a, with a bird face and hair like the Bride of Frankenstein?”Tagged: Caricatures, Bride of Frankenstein
“Could you do me a favor? If you see a guy that's five-foot-eleven, he's got, uh, a big head and flared nostrils, tell him his friend's going to be right back, OK?”Tagged: Caricatures
“You know, men can sit through the most boring movie if there's even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off.”Tagged: Topless, breasts, Men
“Um, excuse me, have you see a guy with like a horse face, big teeth, and, uh, and a pointed nose?”Tagged: Caricatures
“I want a decent sock that's comfortable, that will stay on my foot!”Tagged: Socks, Comfort, Prima Donnas