Even making a valid point doesn't warrant using shame or intentionally putting someone on the spot in front of other people.
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Brené Brown
Brené Brown (born November 18, 1965) is an American scholar, author, and public speaker, who is currently a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. Over the last fifteen years she has been involved in research on a range of topics, including vulnerability, courage, shame, and empathy. She is the author of three #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection (2010), Daring Greatly (2012), and Rising Strong (2015). She and her work have been featured on PBS, NPR, TED, and CNN. 2Early life and education Brown was born in San Antonio, Texas and spent a formative period in New Orleans, Louisiana. Brown was baptized in the Episcopal church and then later brought up Catholic. She left the church for two decades, and later returned to it with her husband and children. She completed her Bachelor of Social Work (BSW) at the University of Texas at Austin in 1995, followed by a Master of Social Work (MSW) in 1996 and Ph.D. from the Graduate College of Social Work at the University of Houston in 2002. 2Career Brown began her career as a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. Her research focuses on authentic leadership and wholeheartedness in families, schools, and organizations. She presented a 2012 TED talk and two 2010 TEDx talk
You cannot shame or belittle people into changing. This means we can't use self-hate to lose weight, we can't shame ourselves into becoming better parents and we can't belittle ourselves or our families into becoming who we need them to be. Putting people on the 'loser board' doesn't work. Shame…
Honesty that's motivated by shame, anger, fear or hurt is not 'honesty.' It's shame, anger fear or hurt disguised as honesty.
One of the most important benefits of reaching out to others is learning that the experiences that make us feel the most alone are actually universal experiences.
You might argue that Ron is a batterer and that any language that softens or obscures this fact leaves him less accountable for his actions, but Ron will be more likely to accept responsibility and feel remorse if he can view himself as more than a batterer. For people to look squarely at their…
Are we using shame as punishment because we think it will foster real change in people? Or are we shaming others because it feels good to make people suffer when we are in fear, anger, or judgment?
The time has come to explore the possibility that we are safer in a world where people aren't mired in shame.
It didn't take very long for me to reach the conclusion that there is nothing positive about shame. In any form, in any context and through any delivery system, shame is destructive. The idea that there are two types, healthy shame and toxic shame, did not bear out in any of my research.