“Bridgette: I would like a ball. Augusto: A ball, uh? Bridgette: A ball, like Khloe Kardashian, a ball. Augusto: You mean a bowl? Bridgette: That's what I said, a bowla. Augusto: That doesn't seem very you.”Tagged: Ball, bowl, Khloe Kardashian
“Bridgette: Joe poops in a bag. Tutu: So what? Everyone has challenges.”Tagged: Poop, Pooping in Bags, Challenges
“Eliza: Bridge, I have to finish getting ready. Bridgette: Well, you're wearing like four outfits. Why not just pick one of those?”Tagged: Getting Dressed, Indecision
“Recruitment Consultant: Moving on, do you have any special skills? Bridgette: Yes...basketball. Recruitment Consultant: You know, I think I might actually have an opening in prostitution. Bridgette: As in, prostitution? Recruitment Consultant: It's actually perfect for you. Make your own hours, pays…”Tagged: Recession-Proof, Prostitution-Adjacent, prostitution, Unemployment
“Landlord: Bridgette please, I need your rent. Bridgette: You wanna get high?”Tagged: Landlord, Rent, Evasion, Getting High
“Doctor: Take my advice, have fun, go have sex. Bridgette: With who? Doctor: Just find somebody, have sex. Just make sure it's protected. Bridgette: It's so hard for me to do that.”Tagged: Sex, Unprotected Sex, STDs
“Jesse: What are you doing here? Bridgette: It's, um you know what, it's Larry's birthday tomorrow, and so I just went to get him some goodies. Jesse: Oh, my God, you had a kid, and you named him Larry Bird. Bridgette: Why? You think I should change it?”Tagged: Larry Bird, Children's Names, birthday
“Bridgette: What happened to you at Harvard? Casey: What do you mean? Bridgette: I don't know. Harvard's made you— Casey: What? Bridgette: Just like, you're just different. Casey: Different? Bridgette: Yeah, just like, you know. Casey: Well, in high school, I was different. Bridgette: You were not.…”Tagged: Harvard, studying, Cheating, College Exams
“Bridgette: What's that? Rafi: It's a muscleman mud run. What's that about? Man: Wicked hard obstacle course. Alright? Raising money for the V.A., It beats slaving away at the gym. Right? Rafi: I'm down for that. Bridgette: Is it for dudes, only? Man: No. Eliza: Then, why did you only hand it to the…”Tagged: Muscleman Mud Run, obstacle course, Lookism
“Bridgette: I just wish you could at least pretend to support me. Tutu: I support you every single day, honey. I pray for you. Bridgette: Yeah? What do you say? Tutu: I say, ‘Dear Heavenly Father, please protect my Bridgette. She's a little lost. She's like a sheep. Please guide her towards—'…”Tagged: prayer, pigs, Sheep
“Eliza: What the fuck did we just agree to do? Bridgette: I don't know. It's like we're in a bad Goldie Hawn movie from the '80s.”Tagged: Goldie Hawn, 80s Movies
“Bridgette: I just wish I didn't have a pussy to grab. Eliza: Well, maybe you need like a chastity belt. Like in Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Bridgette: I pee too much.”Tagged: Grab Em by The Pussy, Donald Trump, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, Frequent Urination