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J.D. Ryznar

12 quotes

All drug test (2)Pretentious (1)Teamwork (1)Football (1)blaster (1)Teacher (1)phone calls (1)sexual lubricant (1)Police (1)brainstorm (1)Downers (1)late night calls (1)Weed (1)Meth (1)cat shit (1)

From “The Drug Olympics”

Alex Moran: Police. Thad Castle: What? Someone called the police! Shit! Someone called the police! Larry, police! Larry: POLICE!

Police

Thad Castle: Come on, guys! We're going to play football! No teams! Harmon Tedesco: Uh, I'm pretty sure you need two teams to play football, fellas, know what I'm sayin'?

Football Teamwork

Coach Jon Jon: I don't like it when you call my house in the middle of the night... tell my wife to wake me up... just so we can talk about stuff that we can talk about tomorrow. Coach Marty Daniels: I don't do that.

late night calls

Thad Castle: Yes! Upper class-men win another! Alex Moran: You didn't even measure that one. Thad Castle: I measured with my dick!

dick sizing

Thad Castle: The teacher's become the master. Harmon Tedesco: What? Thad Castle: I said the teacher's become the blaster. Harmon Tedesco: I literally have no idea what you're trying to say me right now, man.

Teacher Master blaster Pretentious

Sammy Cacciatore: I wish I could rip my arms off and give them to you so you can call me sometime. Monica: My phone voice-dials. Sammy Cacciatore: Even better!

phone calls voice dial

From “Midterms”

That is how I find out raw eggs work as well as any sexual lubricant, men. [shrugging with a smug grin] It was a happy accident.

eggs sexual lubricant

I just had a brainstorm. What if we kill the professor? If your teacher dies, they have to give you all 'A's. It's the law.

brainstorm Professor

Doctor: Are you at least having sex with these women? Sammy Cacciatore: No.

incel Celibate

From “Piss Test”

Thad Castle: Okay, I'm sure a lot of you are freaking out about the drug test; well, take a chill pill; they don't test for those. Alex Moran: Wait, I'm not freaking out. I mean, it's just beer and weed for me, so uh, I just need a whole lot of water and tartar sauce. Thad Castle: Tartar sauce?…

drug test Meth Weed cat shit tartar sauce

Craig Shilo: Harmon! Seriously? You couldn't wait three days? Harmon Tedesco: It's cleaner. It's just how I prefer to take it. Alex Moran: Does it do anything? Harmon Tedesco: I feel pretty lightheaded right now, yeah.

drug test

I did some uppers and then I did some downers. Annnnnnd then I chased the dragon. Not proud of that.

Uppers Downers Heroin

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